Eragon Chapter Twenty Three

As I’ve mentioned before, there’s a serious balance issue among this story. Or at least that’s what it would be called were this a MMORPG or even a regular old RPG. For those not in the know(and frankly how many of you are there, like one? maybe two?) balance issues tend to pop up when you have multiple character classes and some of them are more powerful than others.

This isn’t a good thing and when it appears in novels there are often two reasons for it. Number one, the author has that in mind like, to borrow an example from Tolkien, Gandalf is more powerful than a foot soldier. Clearly Tolkien wanted this to be the case. The second reason is that the author wasn’t paying attention when they were doing revision and didn’t notice that when they were pulling powers out of their Author’s Bag of Awesome and handing them out to spackle the story together, it seriously screws with the continuity.

Chris probably suffered from the latter part as he was more entranced with the ‘ohh, dragons!’ aspect than making actual sense. The whole Eragon and Saphira relationship is as lopsided as the Titanic once it went under the waves. She gives him everything; mobility, a living weapon, protection, psychic powers and bloody freaking magic. What Saphira gets in return isn’t clear at this point. Maybe it’s charity work and she gets a warm fuzzy feeling. That or it’s community service where the dragons owe the world an nigh infinite number of hours to make up for the prick behavior of previous generations.

The worst part is that Chris could have fixed this and not had to change the story hardly at all. For one, change Saphira’s vision and grant her extremely acute eyesight but terrible hearing and make it where she’s clumsy and lumbering on the ground. That way Eragon is better suited to protecting and warning her while she’s one the ground sleeping and such. That would make their relationship a little more symbiotic. But I’m getting away from myself again.

This chapter is called ‘a song for the road’. Well, if you’re taking requests how about ‘Hitchin’ a Ride’ or ‘Everyday is a Winding Road’ or ‘Roll on down the Highway’? Maybe even ‘Ride to California’ if you could manage it.

Eragon likes to make sure we know he’s a low functioning retard. Today he demonstrates by asking about the sea.

The next day while they were riding, Eragon asked Brom, “What is the sea like?”

Well, it’s wet and blue and you can’t stand on it unless you’re doing magic or miracles. Also people sometimes go out onto the sea in things called ‘boats’ and catch things like ‘fish’. Fish are delicious in many ways. Especially battered, fried and served with chips and malted vinegar.

This short chapter quickly looses some promise when Brom starts telling a ‘story’ about the elves and the ocean. Apparently the elves, though being too stupid to have remembered where in the hell they came from, love the sea. The ‘story’ ends in less time than it’d take to brush your teeth if you were a meth addict and they make camp and go to sleep.

They ride, they train, they eat, they follow the river towards the sea. I try not to nod off at my keyboard as I haven’t yet set my alarm. And just as I’m about to go unconscious, a low flying bomber spots the pair and dives. It releases it’s deadly payload which cuts through the air with a high pitched shriek that’s punctuated by the impact as it explodes, vaporizing Eragon and Brom. Or they talk about their fake names they’ll use in town.

<<Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Four>>

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3 Responses to Eragon Chapter Twenty Three

  1. Vanessa says:

    Let me guess, Eragon suggested Mike Rotch and Hugh G Rection as their fake names.

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