Monthly Archives: January 2010

Breaking Dawn Chapter Five

Posted on 01/31/2010 by vivisector

Our grand prize winner Bella will be off on a lovely honey moon to an undisclosed location where Ed can devour her in peace. I’m still hoping eats her. Maybe he’s just really picky about where he eats his victims. … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Chapter Four

Posted on 01/29/2010 by vivisector

Well these are cooking right along. Short chapters and a, relatively, short book. I again reassert that Otis had a ghost writer on this. She still made sure to add all the worst elements from her own writing, she just … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Chapter Three

Posted on 01/27/2010 by vivisector

I want the music at Bella’s wedding to be by Smashing Pumpkins, at least one song. Or maybe Voodoo and Serano’s blood is pumpin’. Hell, I’d settle for any song from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack but I know … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Chapter Two

Posted on 01/25/2010 by vivisector

Someone must have forced Otis through a creative writing class in between this book and the last. She’s learned to skip! We go from her trying on her dress in the last chapter to lying in bed with Ed the … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Chapter One

Posted on 01/23/2010 by vivisector

My badger has returned and informed me that Otis has no heart. If I were a cruel man this would earn him punishment but I am benevolent. I gave him a bit of honeycomb and a pat on the head. … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Intro

Posted on 01/21/2010 by vivisector

Before we get into the book lets examine the oft skipped lesser parts. No I don’t mean the chapters themselves. I mean the pieces that are even more inconsequential than the rest of Otis’s crap. Again my eyes fall on … Continue reading →

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Clarification

Posted on 01/19/2010 by vivisector

So, in case the poll worries you, I’ll say this. I’m doing recaps for Breaking Dawn next. The question this poll strives to answer is, what do I do after? I mean, Midnight Sun isn’t out yet unless you count … Continue reading →

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Eclipse Epilogue

Posted on 01/19/2010 by vivisector

But we’re not quite done. Much like words, Otis uses Prologues and Epilogues incorrectly. Epilogues are supposed to bring closure if they’re provided and this one does nothing of the sort. This one is told from Jacob’s point of view. … Continue reading →

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Eclipse Chapter Twenty Seven

Posted on 01/17/2010 by vivisector

Was the editor of this book even awake when it came though? Or did they want to expand the damned thing? Maybe the editor kept going back to Otis saying ‘We’ve got to have more lines! It has to be … Continue reading →

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Eclispe Chapter Twenty Six

Posted on 01/15/2010 by vivisector

I’ll bet after the last post you thought it had to be over, so did I. Otis is never done, never. I think that’s why she started writing Midnight Sun, because she’s found her calling in life. To hurt people … Continue reading →

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