Blogroll
- Anti-shurtugal Further Discussion on Bad Books
- Battlefield Earth Spork Covering L. Ron’s second largest waste of pulp
- Conjugalfelicity More Sporking
- Eye of Argon MST3K A riff on a terrible short from the seventies
- ImpishIdea Sporkings and Essays on Writing
- Kris Norge's Essays An in depth looks at tactics in a few series including the Eragon series.
- Mission Earth Recaps A series I’ve read and laughed at myself.
- Rejecter Blog A semi inactive blog about Query letters.
- Slushpile Hell Query letters from an Agent’s perspective.
- Snark Squad One of the best Fity Shades sporks in my opinion. They also do some TV shows and various other books.
- Verprose A far more comprehensive list of sporks than my little link bar
Tag Archives: poor jacob
Breaking Dawn Chapter Nine
Billy is waiting for Jake outside. Jake wheels his dad in and they banter about family. Apparently Jake has a couple of sisters. I smell RetConrete drying, don’t you? One of them is the imprintee for Paul while the other … Continue reading
Breaking Dawn Chapter Eight
I warn you there is some digression before I get into this chapter. What really bugs me about Otis is not her author’s voice, it’s her violation of my one rule. You see, I have a cardinal rule that an … Continue reading
Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap
Tagged Dumb as a box of hammers, poor jacob, The always true legend
1 Comment
Breaking Dawn Chapter Four
Well these are cooking right along. Short chapters and a, relatively, short book. I again reassert that Otis had a ghost writer on this. She still made sure to add all the worst elements from her own writing, she just … Continue reading
Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap
Tagged Bella is vampire crack, poor jacob, Stephanie Meyer is a tard
6 Comments
Eclipse Epilogue
But we’re not quite done. Much like words, Otis uses Prologues and Epilogues incorrectly. Epilogues are supposed to bring closure if they’re provided and this one does nothing of the sort. This one is told from Jacob’s point of view. … Continue reading
Eclispe Chapter Twenty Six
I’ll bet after the last post you thought it had to be over, so did I. Otis is never done, never. I think that’s why she started writing Midnight Sun, because she’s found her calling in life. To hurt people … Continue reading
Eclipse Chapter Twenty Five
So, here we are in the last chapter of the book right? Villain slain? Check. Heroine, for lack of a better term, still alive? Check. Dull, romantic interest still present? Check and double check. Well, terrible as it is this … Continue reading
Eclipse Chapter Twenty Three
So I’ve been peeking ahead in Breaking Dawn. I wanted to get an idea of what I’m up against before tackling it. I made it to the dedication and had to stop right there. Otis thanks Muse for ‘a series … Continue reading
Eclipse Chapter Twenty Two
The title of this chapter alone is worth a swift to Otis, notice I didn’t state where. This one is called ‘Fire and Ice’ which reminds me of the George R.R. Martin series a Song of Fire and Ice. To … Continue reading
Eclipse Chapter Twenty One
What better way to make your audience regret they ever progressed beyond Dick and Jane than having your character recap what they just read in the previous chapter? The first couple of paragraphs are just that. This is a recap … Continue reading
Eclipse Chapter Fifteen
Thanks for the positive comments folks. It’s good to see somebody is enjoying this besides myself. For more things that Otis has borrowed elements from, besides the Southern Vampire Mysteries, see this link. I only remembered it because an ex … Continue reading
Posted in Eclipse, Recap
Tagged Bella is an idiot, character assassination, Edward sucks, poor jacob
4 Comments
Vivisector's Writ 