Tag Archives: Please let the vampires kill something

Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty Seven

Posted on 04/05/2010 by vivisector

This is perhaps the most accurately named chapter in the entire series. It’s called contrivances. It brings to mind the kind of implausible contrivances that the author strung together in an attempt to make a story that worked out perfectly … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty Four

Posted on 03/30/2010 by vivisector

This chapter is called Declared. Wasn’t that a terrible series on Fox? Or was that Undeclared? I have a hard time telling one brand of crap form another. Not that it really matters I suppose. Bella comes home and finds … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty One

Posted on 03/24/2010 by vivisector

So another stray thought occurred to me the other day. While Ed can read minds he’s a rarity right? So couldn’t he use his powers for unprecedented douche-baggery? Like, for example, he could pretend to read Jake’s mind and make … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirteen

Posted on 02/16/2010 by vivisector

Rose and Carl, sounds like a nineteen fifties sitcom doesn’t it?, go upstairs to get the blood. They discuss whether or not to warm it up. Jacob wonders what other awful things they have in this ‘house of horrors’. It … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Eleven

Posted on 02/12/2010 by vivisector

These are dragging, I know. But really these are some of the worst. I thought seeing things from Jacob’s point of view would spice up an otherwise dull story. There goes my optimism again. Jake is fighting the urge to … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Three

Posted on 01/27/2010 by vivisector

I want the music at Bella’s wedding to be by Smashing Pumpkins, at least one song. Or maybe Voodoo and Serano’s blood is pumpin’. Hell, I’d settle for any song from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack but I know … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments