Tag Archives: Bella is an idiot

Midnight Sun Chapter 12 Part 2

Posted on 07/08/2011 by vivisector

If you couldn’t tell, this chapter was so boring I fell asleep. I was literally nodding off while my fingers danced over the keyboard in autopilot. When I woke up and looked it over before posting I was amazed there … Continue reading →

Posted in Midnight Sun, Recap | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Stupid Dogs, Play ball and From the Ashes

Posted on 04/18/2010 by vivisector

Stupid Dogs So Billy Black, who is apparently no way related to the Taebo instructor Billy Blanks—man that was a faux pas I won’t make again—came over to talk to my dad. Man I hate that he knows I’m seeing … Continue reading →

Posted in Twilight | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty Five

Posted on 04/01/2010 by vivisector

He smiled my favorite smile. “Hurry back to me.” Which smile is your favorite Bella? The one he used to flash at you while watching you sleep while you talked? Was it the one he wore on you honeymoon, like … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Twenty One

Posted on 03/04/2010 by vivisector

Bella’s first order of business? Jumping out of a window. Too bad she’s no longer fleshy and capable of being crushed by the fall. She lands and Ed says she was graceful even for a vampire. Of course. So with … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Twelve

Posted on 02/14/2010 by vivisector

Ok. Otis? I’ll make you a deal. I’ve got a crisp dollar coin here with your name on it should you decide to get this pile of molasses moving again. If you don’t I’ll put that same coin in my … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Recap | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Breaking Dawn Chapter Six

Posted on 02/02/2010 by vivisector

Ed and Bella go swimming. Ed plays with the dolphins and then kills one to share with his beloved. Together, they split a mammal Sunday topped with sprinkles. Bella, being unusually sharp for her, realizes Ed is keeping her busy … Continue reading →

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Breaking Dawn Chapter One

Posted on 01/23/2010 by vivisector

My badger has returned and informed me that Otis has no heart. If I were a cruel man this would earn him punishment but I am benevolent. I gave him a bit of honeycomb and a pat on the head. … Continue reading →

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Eclipse Chapter Twenty Seven

Posted on 01/17/2010 by vivisector

Was the editor of this book even awake when it came though? Or did they want to expand the damned thing? Maybe the editor kept going back to Otis saying ‘We’ve got to have more lines! It has to be … Continue reading →

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Eclispe Chapter Twenty Six

Posted on 01/15/2010 by vivisector

I’ll bet after the last post you thought it had to be over, so did I. Otis is never done, never. I think that’s why she started writing Midnight Sun, because she’s found her calling in life. To hurt people … Continue reading →

Posted in Eclipse, Recap | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Eclipse Chapter Twenty Five

Posted on 01/13/2010 by vivisector

So, here we are in the last chapter of the book right? Villain slain? Check. Heroine, for lack of a better term, still alive? Check. Dull, romantic interest still present? Check and double check. Well, terrible as it is this … Continue reading →

Posted in Eclipse, Recap | Tagged , , | 3 Comments