Life & Death Chapter 7

I was thinking more about characterization and how it can get the audience to overlook or embrace character flaws. Take Bella/Beau’s passive role. Critics give Meyer a truckload of shit for it and rightfully so. Though they do it because Bella is a useless waif and a terrible role model. While it might be a fair point, I’m willing to bet they’d be the minority if Bella were properly characterized.

What would it take, you ask, fictional voice in my head? I’m glad you asked. First we need something that you could see being foisted off on a kid rather than their parents finances. How about, say, a younger sibling ten years their junior? Maybe Rene and stepdad had a little accident and consistently left them alone under Bella/Beau’s care. Of course you’d have to make them a spoiled brat so we don’t feel bad when they leave their half sibling behind.

That’d pull triple duty for explaining Bella/Beau’s behavior. The first being they moved away to get away from their negligent parents using them as free childcare. Two it would give them something genuine to be bitter about that’s a bit outside the norm. The third, and most important, is that it would explain why they let a stranger take control of their life.

After spending so many of their formative years playing parent to an ungrateful child, I bet Bella/Beau would be exhausted.  They’d be thrilled to not only meet someone who was decisive and responsible but willing to take the load off their shoulders. They just might feel relieved to have decisions made for them.

Again, this would’t be something that excuses Bella/Beau’s behavior.  It merely informs why they do what they do. Because Meyer never really delves into Bella/Beau’s motives it all just appears nonsensical. Why does Bella fall for a controlling prick? Because he’s fuckable, we guess.

Though if Meyer characterized Bella/Beau that would ruin them. They’d not longer be an empty shell the intended audience can slip into. They are nothing if not a mere avatar for the target audience to wear and jack off too.

Beau decides that it’s time to lie to Charlie by telling him he ate in La Push and doesn’t feel like diner. Lucky for Beau, Charlie is really excited by some basketball game though Beau has no idea why. Look, Meyer, I don’t follow sports either but by simply being immersed in the culture I’m aware when there are important games. You’d think that, between Phil being a professional baseball player and Charlie being into sports, Bella/Beau would have picked up some basics.

Beau goes up to his room and pops in a cd that Phil gave him. He cranks up the volume until it almost hurts. Also, he says the band is a “bit hard for his taste” but otherwise alright. I know what you mean, Beau, Air Supply is pretty hardcore. Maybe it’s a little bit of Abba if Phil is the kind of guy that adds spike to his jackboots before the mosh pit.

Seriously, Meyer, why the fuck did you miss out on the chance to define what Bella/Beau thinks is “a bit hard”? That’s characterization you could have woven into the story. Even if Beau said it was something that was so far away from hard it’d make the audience laugh, it’s Beau’s opinion. It would tell us something about Bella/Beau without having to stop and look directly at us and say “Beau is very clumsy” or “Beau is very well cultured”.

Beau falls asleep and has a dream. In it, Jules is trying to tell Beau he has to run. Mckayla is calling to him from the trees. Beau is confused, no change there, and Jules disappears, leaving a wolf in her place. Then Edythe shows up in a long white dress that leaves her arms bare. She smiles when Beau starts walking towards her and the wolf jumps at him.

This wakes him up. Beau showers, puts on his clothes from yesterday then showers and makes his bed. After all that, he finally boots up his computers, complaining about the modem and shitty free service, to search about vampires. Meyer admits that vampires were invented by her as Beau browses past movies and books.

Meyer tells us how Beau had to dig through all of that to find an obscure site about vampires. Bullshit, Meyer. You tell us that Beau was born in 1987 and is seventeen now. That puts this squarely within 2004. Wikipedia was founded in 2001 and the entry on vampires was started in 2003. Considering how fast Wiki rose to the top of search results, I doubt Beau had to sift through seven hundred pages of Lestat/Louie slash fiction to get to the history of vampires.

There’s a little bit about differing vampire legends but nothing terribly interesting. There’s a legend about an Italian vampire which is the enemy of evil vampires. This makes him excited because that means there’s probably at least one monster he can have sex with and not be killed. That’s far better than when he was attracted to mantis women.

Without properly turning off his computer, Beau decides to march out of the house. He doesn’t have anywhere he wants to drive so he wanders off into the woods. For some reason, Beau is angry and needs to cool off. He describes the flora as he wanders around until he stops.

He has ton wonder if Edythe is right and she’s the villain. No, and not because she’s actually nice. Being a villain requires both personality and drive. Beau figures that the Cullens must be vampires because they’re otherworldly. Which is a pretty far conclusion to jump to. Being as, so far, only Ed has really demonstrated any preternatural abilities. I mean, Ed could be a vampire who keeps a rotating family of hostages to blend in.

That leave Beau with only two options. One, he can leave her alone and they can go their separate ways. Two, he can just keep doing what he’s doing and let the plot unfold. As avoiding her would take effort, Beau doesn’t plan on it. Also, he’s already incredibly attached to her because he’s an emotional wreck.

With that decided, Beau goes home. Charlie comes home later with fish and he makes a mental note to buy a book of fish recipes when he goes into town. Sure, because there’s not an internet with searchable recipes available to him. The next day he goes to school while being excited. I wish I could be excited because something was going to happen.

Instead, Mcklayla comes over and asks how his day was with a “possessive” tone. Mckayla decides to be bold and ask him out. Beau deflects, saying that wouldn’t be a good idea. He says that Jeremy wants to date her and asks if she’s blind. Mckayla sighs, knowing she’s getting the case of turtle wax instead of the grand prize.

Beau wanders through the school day which is about as riveting as eating shredded newspaper. When he gets to lunch, he sees Mckayla save a seat for Jeremy which thrills him. Beau also notices that there aren’t any Cullens around. He starts to panic that Edythe found out what he did that weekend and has decided to disappear.

This leave him depressed. Lucky for him, Jeremey cancels their plans to hang out that day. Beau decides to take a book outside and read in the sun. It’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea where Bella was reading either Jane Eyre or something of the like. I could look it up but that would require me learning and remembering even more about Twilight that I already do.

Beau can’t seem to get interested in the book so he takes a nap. The Charlie comes home, waking him up. Beau informs him that he’s going to a movie with the boys tomorrow. Beau says he won’t have anything prepared for diner and Charlie reminds Beau that he’s a goddamned adult who’s survived without being waited on by his son.

Nothing else happens, apparently, until the next day. Beau goes to school late, hoping to see the Volvo in the lot. It’s not there and Beau resumes having a panic attack because his marble love doll isn’t around. This leaves him with only a night hanging out with his stupid friends to take his mind off it. Though he does start to feel better as they drive into town.

This entry was posted in Recap, Spork, Twilight and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s