Hidden Chapters 17 & 18

Chapter 17

We kick off from Shaylin who’s being told to follow Aphro. We’re then told Aphro did “her twitchy walk” towards the dorms. I like when authors suddenly drop new traits on the audience at once and pretend they’ve always been there. ‘Zoey slobbered red M&Ms all over the ground as she spoke, as was her way.’

Shaylin doesn’t like Aphro because she’s the token bitch. In spite of all the possible character growth she could have gone through, PCK prefers to keep her characters like their cars, stock. Supposedly they have to work together for reasons as yet to be explained. I guess a seer needs an aura spotter as if she’s a sniper.

Shaylin then bitches out Aprho for being mean. She says that she couldn’t use her patent pending Truesight until she apologized to Aphro and meant it. Not that PCK has mentioned any malfunctions with her magic eyes before. She then tells Aphro that maybe if she wasn’t so mean, she’d be able to use seer powers better.

Which only negates everything we’ve been told so far, PCK. They’ve drilled into us that, once you get powers, Nyx won’t take them away. That’s why Zoey and slave have to stop Neferet, because Nyx could never step in or she’d be violating free will. That Shaylin’s powers would stop working so well because she was rude could only be the work of Nyx. So she’s willing to give and take as long as it doesn’t interfere with the plot.

They get to looking for Beavis while mentioning Kalona will be meeting up with Neferet shortly. Shaylin says he’ll be waiting until sun rise when she’ll be weakened without trying to look like he’s been waiting. Aphro says yeah and Shayloin says that won’t work because there are clouds. Wait, what?

For one, we were hammered home with the whole, sun doesn’t actually bother vampires early on in the series. They just prefer nighttime because that’s the most genre appropriate. Then there were the undeadlings which cooked like bacon on a griddle when hit with an errant ray. Now sun weaken vampires? Or does it only affect Neferet because she’s evil and allied with darkness? I’m so confused.

Aphro points Shaylin to Beavis’s room, figuring that if Dallas is around and they’re rearranging the furniture it’ll be in Beavis’s empty room. Then Aphro leaves so Shaylin can mutter aloud about how she’s not sure about Nyx’s judgement. Erick overhears this and steps into the scene, saying no one does.

Erik says he didn’t mean to scare her like the asshole in a box he is. He says he was merely procrastinating and will leave. Shay stops him and says wait, she though they were friends. He says yes, but just friends. She says cool and wants to procrastinate with him. How about giving him a hummer in the hallway where Zoey can spot you and get indignant? That’d be hell of a way to blow some time.

Erik then whines about how he can’t leave this place because there’s something in his blood. It’s called harpy magic and if you want to break it you’ll need some classic Greek heroes. Heracles is probably busy, might I recommend the clever clogs Daedalus? Shaylin pats him on the ass and says ‘there, there’ before saying she has to go do something. Erik offers to walk her to the dorm so we can switch to his POV.

PCK does this so Erik can continue to whine about how boring lesson plans are to write. Yeah, nothing gets your students wet like complaining at them, Erik. The secret to his success it to sound like a pedantic Yelp review. Erik is fighting the urge to stare at her tits because PCK once heard some guys like those so that’s a thing Erik has to do. Now if PCK was having Erik do that because he was attracted to her, I’d be fine. As it is, they just make him seem like a twelve year old who just found his dick.

Erik then complains about being short staffed because of the battle, PCK uses the term loosely, with darkness. She says something sarcastic about how it must suck and Erik backpedals. Shaylin then says something about peas and turquoise which is either a stupid metaphor or a terrible reference. Erik says he was just venting and girls do it all the time.

“I really didn’t mean what I said before. I was just venting. You know, girls do it all the time,” Erik said.

“Erik, you’re not making it any better by being a misogynist.”

If he’d said people instead of girls, then PCK wouldn’t have been able to call him an asshole. I guess Erik hasn’t yet earn his way into PCK’s good graces for being born with a flaw that won’t let him keep dating Zoey. Shaylin and him banter and she trips so Erik rushes forward to catch her. He tries to kiss her then and Shay shoves Erik away.

Beavis and Dallas see it and mock Erik, saying Shaylin is being a “dick tease”. The correct term, my feathered morons, is “cock tease” and that would be misogynistic. Erik though, being a sort-of decent character, says no he was just trying something stupid and Shaylin didn’t want it. They laugh at him and wander off and Shaylin says it’s worse than Butthead feared.

Erik instantly realizes that Shaylin was there to check up on Beavis. This must mean she has changed sides and woe to the protagonists. Erik then asks if he can walk her to the bus and Shaylin says no. She then says that he could maybe turn to turquoise, his aura I suppose, and that’s a good thing. Though she tells him to not try and kiss her until she says “yes to kiss me”.

Chapter 18

Over to Kalona who’s watching people get on the bus with Thanatos. Stevie says that if anyone can save Grandma, that he’s the one who can do it. He is mildly disappointed she doesn’t wish him luck before the bus leaves. PCK is quite the master of having characters come up with, state then finally lumber into motion a plan. By the time Zoey and her slaves arrive on scene to utter the magic words which will banish Neferet this time, we’ll only have a chatper left.

With the kids gone home, Thanatos then asks Nyx to bless Kalona and help strengthen him. Sure she can’t interfere with the world unless it’s called a blessing and then all bets are off. Kalona can feel her all around and is moved by it. He says he will not fail her or Nyx and takes off. He arrives at the penthouse without any ado, for once, and calls out that her consort is here.

Neferet is doing the half assed villain setup where she hides in the shadows while talking to hide a change. There’s some boring talk(isn’t all of PCK’s dialogue?) before she lets him see her. Don’t worry folks, PCK wasn’t going to try and describe a horrifying mutation or anything. She just looks colder than she was like a statue you can fuck.

‘So, what are you doing here?’ ‘I was hoping to do you, actually.’ ‘Really? I thought you were with someone else now?’ ‘No, no. That’s crazy talk. Come on, let’s have sex and we can talk about Zoey’s grandma. What do ya say?’

Kalona is grossed out by Neferet now and wonder how he could have put his bone to her burial chamber. He begs for her to take him back and suddenly he can see Nyx present standing in her place which movres him to tears. Rather than being a trick by Neferet to test him, this is Nyx letting him act like he truly misses her.

Neferet says, sure, she’ll take him back but he has to do something for her. Kalona will have to bring Zoey to her but not kill her because Neferet wants her alive. Neferet scratches him and lets the darkness feed on his blood. Meanwhile Kalona can feel his erection fading because she’s nothing but an imitation of Nyx and more a perversion at that. Kalona then gets distracted by moaning that’s not coming from Neferet.

Kalona wanders over to Grandma who’s tied up in dark tentacles which means there’s at least one person on the internet who finds it erotic. Neferet says it’s a pity she’s old and her blood is undrinkable. Why is that again? Look, I get that the whole young blood is tasty is a common convention in fiction. At this point we’re just expected to take it as red that old woman blood is probably gross but why? It’s not like there’s too much difference from a physiology point here. Unless the blood was merely a physical representation of the life vampires drained from humans. But who wants to explore ideas? Remember that Harry Potter exists? Oh my god, I’m such a nerd. Also, Dr Who and Batman, am I right?

Neferet says she’s thinking about sacrificing Grandma though keeping her as a slave would be funny. Kalona asks about Aurox and Neferet says he was fine if broken and not worth fixing. She also whines about how Kalona appears to care about Rephy and he was sad when Rephy was dead. Kalona says Rephy was a loyal servant and that’s what upset.

Kalona says why not let Grandma go and leave Zoey alone. He suggests they instead leave Tulsa, where the weather sucks, and retreat to an island with her undeadlings where they can break up the vampire council and takeover. Nefert considers this but whines about how much pain Zoey has caused her. She must be reading the books as well.

Kalona says they can leave and forget about it and he’ll serve her. Neferet mumbles something about a blood oath and then casts a spell to kill Rephy. Kalona jumps in front of it before it can hit Rephy in bird form. Rephy flies off and Neferet says she knew he had changed sides. Then she also binds him with shadow tentacles. Kalona tries to tell them to piss off and, when they don’t obey, realizes that he must have truly changed his alignment.

This entry was posted in House of Night, Recap, Spork and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s