Chapter 7
There’s a question Awkward and I were kicking around the other day. Considering vampires have been around in this universe for awhile and they’ve, presumably, been public since at least the early twentieth century. So it’s not like certain cultural inventions, such as the vampires in Anne Rice novels, have happened in a vacuum without those people. So wouldn’t Count Chocula be kind of offensive?
The count is a rather broad and old stereotype given life by the cultural idea that vampires are all nobles from Transylvania. A stereotype which was cemented by the very early vampire movies like Nosferatu and Dracula. So isn’t the count off the cereal box basically the Frito Bandito of vampires? A mildly offensive caricature of real people used to sell shit to kids.
I mean, that could be the source of Zoey’s proposed “irony” at liking the cereal. Of course no one at the school, real vampires included, seems to be bothered by this. At the very least, one of the adults should have, gently mind you, have told Zoey that, indicating a box of cereal, is a bit offensive.
Then there’s the fact that they only make and sell it for a limited time every year. When the series starts, sure, they can buy the cereal so maybe it’s hanging around the school. But now we’re in the New Year and it’s probably around February. Unless the vampire lunch staff buys it by the pallet, I highly doubt they’d still have some in the later winter season.
Zoey is back in school and on her way to Thanatos’s office. She’s whining about the whole school smelling like smoke and also fear. Gee, I can’t imagine why that would be the case. Probably not because of the fire. I bet there’s just a student getting into the barbecue season a bit early. They’re getting their smoker primed for the summer pork-fest.
Zoey thinks they shouldn’t have cancelled classes for the day because the school needs normal. What exactly normal means in a place where people are constantly being psychically bonded because they do a bit of blood swapping is beyond me. She wants everyone to split up and go about doing “normal things” including studying. Most of Zoey’s core slaves will be joining her in the office with Thanatos. Dallas laughs saying that studying isn’t normal for him.
“Then go grab a basketball or something boy-like in the field house,” I said, not able to not grin at them.
Ah, where would this series be without blatant sexism? But it’s okay because it’s sexism against boys ‘Doing math homework isn’t normal for me.’ ‘Then why don’t you go work on your makeup or make a dress, sugar tits?’ Apparently PCK believes feminism means simply gender swapping tropes.
A bunch of the other slaves are going off to the cafeteria to have food because not all of them ate a filling meal of racist puffs and masrchmellows.(Free Confederate Flag with six proofs of purchase) Zoey warns them to not eat in clusters for some reason and to talk to other students.
Aphro steps away to make a call to her mom and inform her about Neferet. Stevie asks why her mom and Aphro says her mom is the boss of the family. Because it’s more important to tell us rather than let us infer that she’s in charge. Shaylin then asks if she can com along to ask Thanatos about her colors. Of course you can Shaylin, you’re one of Zoey’s pets now.
Then the idiots talk about Kalona and how they need to be careful. Zoey says she won’t trust him while Stevie thinks he’s good because he gave his oath to Thanatos. They also talk about Aurox being Heath and Zoey tells them what she knows which is that she’s not sure he’s Heath. They say that if there’s even a change that’s true then Zoey won’t think clear about Aurox.
Aphro and Stevie say they’re going to tell their boyfriends because the warriors around her need to know. They then say Zoey has some “boy troubles”. Because after nine previous books worth of love triangle bullshit, PCK can’t just wrap it all up. Zoey then worries about everything and also about her “IBS” acting up in the middle of the talk with Thanatos
Chapter 8
Over to Butthead now who thinks she should stay away from the stables because Lenobia’s had too much exposure to fire lately. They say she should go over to Draon’g s funeral pyre because they’ll need her over there. For what exactly? Do they not have charcoal and lighters in this universe?
Butthead whines about how she’s not looking forward to it as if she really gave a tin shit about Dragon. It makes her feel better when Beavis comes over and tells her to just get into her element and get through it. They briefly argue because they haven’t made up yet. Beavis storms off then and Butthead asks Damien if Beavis was always like that.
Damien asks what she means and she says heartless. Damien says that’s hard to say because they were always like two halves of one whole. Butthead was always the one with the heart, apparently. Beavis was always funny but always at the expense of other people.
They babble a bit and Butthead doesn’t know who to be a whole person but she’s going to try and says Beavis will have to do the same. Damien says she’s very smart though it’s not school smarts. Then they talk about how there’s too much negative energy on the school grounds lately.
As she walks away, Butthead tells fire to help Damien find a hot guy who makes him happy. That way Neferet has someone else to kill who’s not part of the regular slaves. Butthead then sees Kalona who thanks her for the cellphone so he could help Rephy. She yells at him for being a terrible father but says it’s not to late to fix it. Kalona says he’s hadn’t been very good but maybe he can start being nice to his sons.
Butthead also tells him to try asking Nyx for help. Kalona says she won’t listen as she hasn’r for eons. Butthead asks how often he asked for help and he says never. She says he needs to at least try and he’ll probably be surprised. I’m frankly surprised he’s never asked her for help before.
Over to Rephy who’s still not loved by all the other people at the school. He whines about that for a bit but thinks some of them, like Stark, are coming around. He then complains about his not quite healed wound which reminds him of Kalona. That he showed back up and joined the good guys makes Rephy happy.
Rephy wanders over to where the wall is broken by an oak tree. He’s sad for some reason and wonders if he can be healed that so can the tree. He remembers the imprisonment he suffered for centuries and it angers him. Then he tells the tree that he’ll help make right for all the pain he caused it.
Over to Aurox who’s apparently in the pit below the oak tree where Kalona was imprisoned. He’s pacing about complaining that Zoey will probably not recognize him as anything but the monster. He goes full on teen angst by complaining that he deserves death and how much of a monster he is. He starts to climb out then but hears Rephy and stops to hide.
Aurox hears Rephy praying to Nyx and is confused. He knows Rephy as the boy cursed to turn into a raven during the day. He wonders how can Rephy be forgiven and cursed all at the same time. Then he hears Rephy leave so Arurox decides to pray to Nyx as well.
Vivisector's Writ 