Chapter 6
You know who hasn’t taken a beating like an unruly teen at the hands of their stepparent in a Lifetime movie? If you said Erik, then you know who we’re with. Now, it’s not enough that Erik lost the girl and got what the author considers comeuppance. No, Erik also has to “redeem” himself for reasons that PCK cannot express. No, Erik still has to be an idiot who’s both empty headed and vapid. He’s walking around dreading going to class.
He’d been walking slowly back to the drama room, wishing hard that instead of entering a class he was going to be making a grand entrance to a movie set in L.A., New Zealand, Canada … Hell! Anywhere but Tulsa, Oklahoma! He’d also been wondering how he’d gone from the hottest fledgling on campus and the next Brad Pitt according to the top vampyre casting agent in L.A., to a Drama Professor and a vampyre Tracker.
Which agent was that again, PCK? You know, little details like that are the kind of thing that make the universe seem bigger and better fleshed out. I mean, Erik should know the name of the agent who told him he could be the next “Brad Pitt”. Unless PCK wants Erik to come across as an asshole who doesn’t bother to learn the names of people who are important to him.
And while I get that he wants to be anywhere other than Oklahoma, which is probably the same thought as about sixty percent of the population on a daily basis, why does he care? Sure it would suck to have to spend four years, or however long he has to be a “tracker” but that’s not shit. Plenty of regular people spend another four years after highschool in something called college. Besides, what’s four years to a vampire who’ll live centuries?
Erik stops some kid running in one direction and asks him where the fire is at. They say there’s a fight and Erik lets him go. Then Erik goes to open a door when, suddenly, the spiral on his palm begins to itch.
I don’t know what it is with hack and spirals. They think they’re the first to discover a fascination with concentric circles and thing they’re so clever. Erik then starts saying the address and the name of the person he’s heading for. Which just makes me wonder, what the fuck did vampires do when there weren’t streets and zip codes everywhere? Did they just think ‘uh, Herod under the oak tree five leagues southwest’?
Erik heads over to the girl and realizes she’s blind. Erik can’t remember what he’s supposed to say and say he never fumbles his lines. She asks if he’s practicing for a play and Erik says she doesn’t know how ironic that is. Neither do we as there’s no irony in a vampire fucking up on his first day. That’s what happens when you learn about irony from an Alanis Morisette song.
Erik then gets stomach cramps because he didn’t say it. He forces himself back up and tells her the stupid spiel about death being rebirth which still makes no sense as vampires don’t die. The sensation leaves him then hits her and she gets a crimson mark. Also, she has been healed and can now see which makes her cry with joy.
Wait, what? The vampire marks heal people? Do they regrow limbs too? Like if someone loses a leg to disease when they’re a kid, do they get it back if they become a vampire? Also, if Nyx can heal people of their disabilities, does that mean there are people suffering from them, like blindness, for their entire lives which she could cure but doesn’t because they’re human?
Turns out she can not only see but see inside of him. She reads his aura and, because powers are that easy to use, she can instantly se it to tell all about Erik. After some stupid back and forth, Erik says he’s going to take her to a priest who can maybe fix him so he’s not making undeadlings.
Chapter 7
We’re back with Zoey who’s brushing her horse “manically” because she’s distracted. I’m glad that Zoey shows a whole lot of concern for the animal she supposedly loves. Lenobia is asking Zoey what she knows about the Heath creature. Well he’s hot and she’ll ride him like a bull in a rodeo if she can ever confirm it’s really Heath. Zoey says that she only knows he’s not a boy. Lenobia says that word around campus is he’s a shapshifter.
Zoey is shocked that such a thing could exist. She asks if that means he’s just like Sam from True Blood. Lenobia gets a single cookie for saying she hasn’t seen it and then loses it when she says she has to read the books. Zeoy then goes on to gush about how good they are, in the hopes that the author will mention her.
PCK then trots out the old legends are based on fact trope that makes me want to wrap a belt around their neck and leave them hanging from a rafter. I would have been fine if Lenobia just said there were vampires so why not shapeshifting jackasses. Lenobia then sys that there are more words around campus, that Zoey had a “strong reaction” to him. Zoey says maybe and Lenobia says she might want to keep that quiet.
Right, why again? Because then someone might realize that Zoey has emotions and reactions to things. Zoey asks why and Lenobia says that she learned that evil likes to be bragged about. Right, because Zoey was going to tell everyone what a force of darkness he is and how deadly and dangerous he was.
“But it’s in Darkness’s nature to brag and gloat, so Darkness understands it when someone calls attention to its actions and stuff,” I said, finally getting her point. “Which means when someone who is trying to fight for good stays quiet, and watches and waits for the right time to act, evil is thrown a curve ball.”
Yeah, evil never expects you to shut up and stay quiet while they go about their business of evildoing. They also don’t plan on anyone fighting them. Evil, as everyone knows, isn’t good at planning ahead. Zoey then says she saw something in Heath last night through the seer stone. She tells Lenobia that she hasn’t told him yet. I mean, why would you want to tell someone else that you’ve seen something old and dangerous in Heath? I’m sure that won’t come back to bite them.
Zoey then questions not telling anyone but Lenobia assures Zoey she made the right decision. After all, only certain priests can use the seer stone so Zoey wouldn’t have any proof that the Heath creature is evil. And it’s not like her coterie of slaves would take her word. After all, they doubt every other word out of her mouth.
Lenobia then keeps fluffing Zoey’s ego and telling her how smart she is and how any mistakes are her just trying to find the right path. Zoey then says Lenobia is really wise and Lenobia says no, just old. She’s over two hundred years old, if anyone cares, and Zoey can’t believe it. How can she possibly be that old? It’s like she some sort of near immortal creature or something. Someone will have to come up with a name for them but I’ll leave that to the scholars.
Stevie then shows up and says there’s a cowboy there to work for Lenobia. This is a shock until they remember that Neferet mentioned something about it. Zoey says it’s to cause chaos. I guess the kind of low level chaos caused by newhires is the kind that can feed a global domineering evil superpower. Which must mean that Walmart generates far more power during the seasonal hiring for the white bull than Neferet ever could.
They all go look at the cowboy and Stevie says he looks like Sam Elliott. Zoey doesn’t know who that is but Stevie says was in a lot of cowboy movies. Zoey, being the bestest of friends with Stevie, didn’t realize Stevie liked westerns. Which is definitely not the kind of thing that comes up on casual conversation among friends.
Anywho, Sam walks up to Lenobia, says he’s the new stable manager and would like to talk to the man in charge. Which means he’s just committed the most egregious sin since Erik didn’t tolerate Zoey trying to screw Heath on the side by suggesting there’s a man in charge.
“I am Lenobia.” Her voice carried easily to us. I didn’t think she sounded pissed. I thought she sounded like an ice storm. “I am the woman in charge of these stables and your new boss.” There was a kind of uncomfortable silence when Lenobia didn’t offer a hand for him to shake.
I don’t know about you but the saying “man in charge” is more of an expression where I’m from. It doesn’t mean there must be a man though to PCK and her vampires such a slip is akin to telling them to get in the kitchen and work on getting pregnant. On the upside, he’s nice about it and just rolls with her shitty attitude, asking where he can put his horse.
Lenobia warms instantly when he brings his horse out which is a “Percheron”. They’re now getting along and wasn’t that brief inexplicable tension between two characters we don’t know interesting? It was sure more interesting that the nothing that’s happened to Zoey and crew so far.
Then someone comes and tells Zoey she needs to go to the main building. Zoey brushes it off, saying she knows it’s time for sixth period. They say no, Grandma is there and she looks like she’s been crying. I can’t imagine why that would be. Sure Zoey had prophetic about her mom dying but that was just a dream. Grandma’s probably just sad about losing a lavender bush or something equally stupid.
Vivisector's Writ 