Chapter 11
There is a certain lyrical beauty in stupidity that’s nigh impossible to match when attempted in earnest. The same could be said of insanity and often is when authors attempt to write “insane” dialogue. PCK is a master of stupidity which is both inherent and greatly fueled by the Dunning-Kruger effect. This is evidenced by the first dwarf paragraph told from Kalona’s perspective.
He could feel Neferet getting near and he steeled himself, schooling his expression and cloaking the hatred he had begun to feel for her with a careful demeanor of expectation and accommodation.
First off, PCK, you don’t need to pack so many metaphors into one sentence. Too many of them, and unrelated ones at that, start making me think of them in a literal way. So now I’m picturing Kalona sending an iron mask of his face off to college wearing an ermine cloak.
Secondly, why does Kalona have to mask his hatred? I would think a self righteous immortal like him would always look like he’s pissed off for being surrounded by idiots. And if Neferet thought he looked angry with her, why shouldn’t he?
Kalona tells Rephy that Neferet’s coming and Rephy asks if they’ve imprinted. Kalona syas that’s an odd thing to ask. Why it’s just like that time Rephy was holding something behind his back and asking if, hypothetically, Kalona would be mad if someone broke his high school wrestling trophy.
Rephy says that, as Kalona can sense Neferet and therefore must have tasted his blood. Kalona says that no one tastes and immortal’s blood.
What is with Kalona and the way he talks about “immortals”, anyway. Are there more out there that we haven’t seen? Is Kalona a race of people called “immortals” which are superior? Was he once human who was given immortality? Because it’s kind of confusing the way he acts like he’s better than everyone but it’s not clear why, other than his ability to not die from old age.
Neferet give Rephy a suspicious look and says that some of the undeadlings spotted him. Neferet says that darkness called, he responded and that those kids mean nothing to him. Neferet says it was still a mistake to be spotted. Why is that again? Was him being hidden part of a plan we’re not aware of? Or is Neferet simply getting upset because villains are supposed to move in secret because that’s something bad guys do?
Kalona gets mad that Neferet would yell at Rephy and makes up an excuse, saying it’ll work out. If someone sees a winged figure they’ll assume it’s a raven. Because Kalona, being evil, wouldn’t dare to skulk around against the orders of Neferet, right?
Neferet then begins talking about Jack’s death. Kalona says they felt it and darkness reveled in it. Neferet says good but she’s worried it won’t make Zoey come home and might keep her on the island. Neferet says she wants Zoey in her reach for reasons we’re not going to learn about until PCK’s stupidity can’t contain itself.
Rephy says that Kalona should try bugging Zoey in her dreams and deliver the news. Neferet then orders Rephy to go find the undeadlings while she takes a bath. She tells Kalona to be waiting for her in bed as they’ve been apart for too long and she needs some banging. Rephy whines about Neferet ordering Kalona about. Kalona tells him to quiet down, daddy has everything under control and to keep his eye on Stevie.
Kalona then goes out on the balcony and decides to ignore Neferet for a bit while he contacts Zoey via dream messaging. He follows a connection over and it’s very dull and stupid. He finds himself in a grove with Zoey who kisses him and begins to screw him. He suddenly realizes that he’s in Stark’s body as Zoey calls him that. Kalona figures this is because he gave Stark some of his power in the last book.
Kalona flees back to his body to regroup and we switch to Stark. Stark is waxing about how awesome Scottish horses are and then how much he likes boning Zoey. Then realizes something was wrong when he felt Kalona inside him, though he doesn’t know who it was.
Chapter 12
We switch over to Rephy and I’m more than glad to spend any minute away from Zoey and her obnoxious vacation diary. If I wanted to read a boring teen’s travelogue and sexual escapades, I’d hang around Tumbler a lot more.
Rephy flies over the depot and takes a peek while looking for movement. He whines about Neferet taking control of his father. If Neferet was on the side of good, Rephy would be a petulant chauvinist because he’s mad that a woman is in charge. Being as Neferet is evil, Rephy is perfectly fine being mad that his dad is being bossed around. Not really a negative point, just a pattern I’ve noticed.
Rephy realizes that he doesn’t need to look for Stevie, he’d know she was there on account of the bond. I guess Rephy was out getting the Memento special done to his brain between this book and the last. Rephy then partakes in the hack’s favorite pastime, thinking about things. He thinks about Stevie and, for the umpteenth time, whines about how he’s a monster and his place is with Kalona and not Stevie.
Rephy decides he’ll obey his father but do his best to protect Stevie. He takes off again and finds the other undeadlings quickly. He comments on how vulnerable they are without realizing it. I could say the same of Rephy. It’s a good thing that it’s not duck season or there isn’t someone hunting out of season. A few well placed slugs would solve his moral conundrum quite right.
Rephy watches Dallas use his power to get a door open. He flat out states that Dallas can use his power to communicate with modern technology so the thicker readers don’t have to think. PCK participates in the no sluggard left behind school of writing. He then flies off, whining about seeing Stevie boning Dallas easlier. Though he falters when he realizes that vampires will look up, not might but will.
Then he hears a howling, Rephy hears a howl was a less than successful knockoff of a Suess book. He instantly knows that it is Stark’s dog which I’m not sure how he knows. He didn’t exactly hang out with Zoey’s slaves or take Duchess on a walk and scoop her poop. Also, he somehow knows that this must mean Jack is dead. I get that Rephy knows Stark is across the pond right now but how does he know Jack is dead? Couldn’t some other poor bastard have gotten killed and Duchess found the body?
Rephy is near the school so he heads over and watches the crime scene. Jack’s body is gone and Rephy observes there’s a lot less blood than there should be. He surmises that darkness fed well that night. He watches the remaining slaves mourn and it’s very flat and dull. Stevie tries to remind them that Jack’s in a better place and it’s really no big deal that he’s dead so cheer the hell up already.
Damien asks if that helps Dragon who says no. Rephy then realizes that he’s responsible for Dragon’s wife being dead and he feels bad. Stevie looks about and says that she feels darkness, irredeemable darkness, around and that Dragon shouldn’t bother but that it’s not good to be out.
Rephy thinks that Dragon will be a force to be reckoned with later. He’s also feeling a bit down about Stevie’s jab. He tells himself that he deserves her hate. He flies off into the night while crying to himself.
Vivisector's Writ 