Tempted Chapters 18 & 19

Chapter 18

Incredibly vague descriptions are a mixed bag when it comes to stories. I don’t mind when an author sets the scene in broad strokes. Telling us that it’s bright out is fine, I don’t need to know that people driving by are squinting against the sun or putting on sunglasses. Yet a lot of authors seem to fall into that a habit of simplicity and they take shortcuts where they don’t deserve it. Of course I have an example from this book, thanks for asking.

For example, when Stevie is telling us the smell of Rephy and how it smells like darkness. What exactly does that mean? For one, PCK has made it a point to remind us dark isn’t always bad. Within the stories we have in front of us, that means either Rephy smells good or PCK is counting on us equating dark with evil. Which is fucking confusing, considering.

Saying something smells like darkness is the kind of shorthand thought I understand and might think to myself. But writing is trying to take a thought from your head and put it in someone else’s using the right words. You’re trying to tell someone what darkness smells like to you. A couple more words and PCK could have told us what she thinks darkness, or evil as it were, smells like. Does it smell like rotting meat buried in peat and left to moulder in the night? Or is it the cloying scent of patchouli oil which seems pleasant from a distance by assails you up close?

We’re back with Zoey and last time we were here, she was falling asleep. That means she must be waking up. She’s cuddling with Stark and enjoying things while he kisses her.

His touch became sexier and less gentle.

I don’t know how harpies have sex, but I’m pretty sure they can only get aroused when a Greek half god is bludgeoning their sisters to death. But here among humans, PCK, we can fuck gentle or hard. Maybe take the time to talk to some of your victims before you slash their throat and eat their liver. You’d be amazed at what they can teach you.

Zoey then realizes the body pressed against her is too big to be Stark. Also he’s incredibly cold because every shit writer thinks making body temp higher or lower is a clever sign. Zoey snaps awake when she hears Kalona speak and realizes she’s in bed alone. I guess Kalona was just waiting to get inside her head until Stark wandered off to masturbate in the corner.

Zoey’s fine though. She “automatically” starts controlling her breathing and steadying her emotions. That’s good, I’d hate to have a character react to things like a human being. We can’t identify with people unless they emote like a fence post. That’s why Keanu Reeves has enough Oscars to build a house.

Zoey doesn’t’ want Stark to come running back because she was panicking. She admits she’s “crazy about him” and then starts worrying that he spent all night watching her sleep. I’m not sure what Stark’s done to make her think he’s a creepy stalker. Though I just assume that any guy who wants to dip his wick in Zoey’s pot has got some mental issues. But we all know that if Zoey finds something gross then her love interest won’t have it. Speaking of the idiot.

The door that led to the little bathroom my room shared with the guest room next door opened and Stark strode in, his gaze going straight to me. He had on jeans and a black Street Cats Catholic Charities T-shirt, and he was towel-drying his still-wet hair. I guess I must have calmed myself down and fixed the panicked expression on my face enough that as soon as he saw me sitting up in bed, alone and in no danger, his worried look changed to a smile.

I may have gotten this across in my Eragon recaps but I don’t care for that word strode. It’s an awkward word. It’s made worse but being alliterated with Stark. Why not add another word and make it a full Dr Suess? Stark strode in, smirking and sleepy? They greet each other and it’s terribly dull. I’ve been stabbed with sticks that weren’t as dull as PCK’s dialogue.

Anywho, Stark is feeling better after a good night’s rest and some blood. Zoey then asks for a favor while she showers. Stark asks if she wants him to wash her back and Zoey goes “guys have a one track mind!” Lool, PCK. Among humans, people can make playful sexual remarks without any weight and it’s called flirting. Stark is probably just trying to flirt and make a joke. She tells him to get everyone together so they can discuss when and how they’re going back to the school.

Zoey sends him off and then showers. She whines about how she ferlt comfortable in his arms and blah blah blah. Then she says no matter how hard she tries her “soul” recognizes him and then she cries. Then it’s down to the dining room to talk all about nothing. She meets some of her devoted slaves and runs into the one who dared to run away.

“Hi everyone. Man, I’m starving!” Erik said. He blazed the big, warm, movie star smile that I used to heart so much.

There’s something incredibly forced about having her say “heart so much” that made me laugh. As if teens are so stupid, that they don’t know the difference between slang and proper language. That or PCK is trying desperately to tell the audience “I get you!” Oh and Zoey is being bitchy that Aphro’s old buddy, Venus, is now hanging out with Erik.

Zoey’s remaining boytoys make some catty remarks at him and Aphro tells Venus he’s on the rebound. I doubt she cares and really, she’s better for him. At least with Venus, Erik won’t be forced to sacrifice his happiness on an altar for Zoey. Suddenly everyone in the room figures out they’re broken up and the gossip begins.

Chapter 19

Immediately, the other two tell Zoey that they never liked Erik anyway. He was such a downer, not willing to be part of the collective and take turns receiving rationed affection from Zoey. After the boys are done kissing her ass, Zoey gets an update on grandma. Grandma is fine and doesn’t need to be visited. Then Stevie shows up and there’s yet more painful banter between Aphro and Stevie. PCK must be buying it in bulk.

Then it’s time for pancakes. Yes, even when the world seems like it might be close to ending and there’s a prophecy to thwart, Zoey has time to pig out. I remember those days when PCK said a healthy diet was important for fledglings. Then PCK remembered that food is good and her avatar should be able to eat whatever she wants without consequences.  Zoey greets her lesser slaves and then starts whining about break ups to herself.

Why couldn’t breakups be easy? Why couldn’t Erik just not be a butt? Because you really hurt his feelings flitted through my mind, but I was sick of being worried about Erik’s feelings. He’d been a possessive jerk! And what a damn hypocrite. He’d called me a ho, but it’d taken him less than a day to hook up with someone else. Jeesh.

I know that feeling, Zoey. Considering someone’s feelings for even a second is exhausting. I can’t imagine how you felt empathizing with Erik for a whole sentence. That’s the kind of thing that they make you a saint for. Maybe you should talk to Angela and see if they can’t submit your name to the Vatican, Zoey. We can have you canonized by the end of the week. If that fails I’ll cannonize you myself.

With the lower caste slaves gathered to her, Zoey must tell them about her recent split. Oh, and maybe mention the vision that Aphro had. One takes precedence though as it happened to Zoey and she’s sad. Speaking of shitty seers, Kramisha has a new poem for Zoey’s inspection. Luckily we’re spared the poetry skills of a fourth grade introvert.

Once they’re done repeating themselves they all agree they should head back. Stevie then reveals her secret about the bad undeadlings. She guesses that Neferet might still be in control of them. Zoey immediately forgives her to give us an example to follow. Though Darius and Angela nearly shit themselves at the mention of other undeadlings for differing reasons.

Stevie tells them not to worry, the bad ones are more affected by daytime than they are. They can’t even move until the sun has gone down so they were safe. The Stevie’s army says how they knew about them and they don’t associate with them. They’re bad and they smell and they remind them of how they used to be. They decide that they don’t want to live in the tunnels anymore so if pack to the school for them.

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2 Responses to Tempted Chapters 18 & 19

  1. Jenn says:

    May I break the quoteted section down for you Zoey?

    “Why couldn’t breakups be easy?”

    Because, ideally, they’re a termination of a relationship where two people are seriously emotionally invested in one another. Which makes me wonder why a breakup is hard For you because you don’t care about anyone but yourself.

    “Why couldn’t Erik just not be a butt?”

    Oh yes! How could he be so mad at someone who cheated on him! The nerve! Actually, considering he was willing to be with you after that shows how forgiving he is.

    “Because you really hurt his feelings flitted through my mind, but I was sick of being worried about Erik’s feelings.”

    When did you ever worry about Erik’s feelings? All that lip service in books 2 and 3 don’t count because you only thought about it when there wasn’t another trouser snake in your proximity. You flat out dismissed him when you were soiling your panties over Loren to Stevie Rae!

    “He’d been a possessive jerk!”

    Being angry at and suspicious of a girlfriend who he witnessed cheating on him, especially one that constantly hangs around other guys that she is obviously interested in, is perfectly rational and understandable behavior to me. The only thing that I think is dumb about his behavior is that he wasn’t completely done with you the moment he walked in on you doing the Horizontal Hokey Pokey with your teacher.

    “And what a damn hypocrite.”

    HA! It is to laugh. Calling Erik a hypocrite when you’re the one slut shaming with reckless abandon while leading on three guys and cheating on your boyfriend, bemoaning what an evil witch Neferet is while casually using your powers to abuse and murder people and… You know what, listing all your hypocrisy will take all night. Moving on!

    “He’d called me a ho, but it’d taken him less than a day to hook up with someone else. Jeesh.”

    Zoey, if a girl giving her boyfriend a blowjob and wearing a low cut dress makes her a ho by your standards, then leading on multiple dudes, cheating on your boyfriend, creaming your panties over every attractive dude that isn’t gayer than a tree full of chickadees and wearing low cut dresses of your own obviously makes you the Whore of Babylon. And getting with another person less than a day after breaking up is nothing compared to parking another guys car in your garage while dating someone else.

    My god, how are these books famous? The only value they have, besides offering endless snark bait to people who aren’t dumber than a bag of bags, is to serve as a good example of how NOT to write a book series. Oh, and they probably make good kindling for your fireplace when you run out of firewood.

    Sorry for any typos. Typing with a phone is a bitch. Keep up the good work!

  2. Dizzie says:

    Did Zoey just actually call Erik a “butt”? How old was she supposed to be again?

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