I make a lot of comparisons to Harry Potter with this series because that’s clearly what PCK is aping. One of the things I like about Harry is that he doesn’t have a solid grasp of the world around him. Yes, he’s the hero but he’s actually kind of dumb. Hermoine is the brains of the group while Harry fumbles along being the right guy in place at the right time. It’s adds a certain charm to know that Harry is just as befuddled as we are by some of the things going on. We can identify with him because he’s struggling to grapple with the wizarding world as well as Voldemort.
Contrast that to Zoey who knows everything. And whenever she doesn’t, her ignorance doesn’t bother her or the story in the slightest. Because she doesn’t struggle, it’s hard to feel anything for her. Zoey is gliding along a track the author has laid out without effort or conflict. And when PCK does introduce conflict, it’s in the form of boyfriends and having too many to chose from. In a world where people die by spraying blood and magic exists, that’s what PCK chooses to focus on.
Anywho, we’re back with Zoey and Slaves who are still flabbergasted that Aphrodite is part of their circle. But how can that be, Nyx? Aphrodite gives blowjobs, doesn’t like Zoey and is blonde. That’s the trifecta of all evil! There must be some sort of clerical error on her part.
It’s funny how it’s Zoey’s friends who can’t believe that Aphrodite is a member of their team and Zoey has to convince them otherwise. Why can’t Zoey hate Aphrodite again? She’s the one that hates her. If her friends hate Aphrodite as well, you need to establish why, PCK. Just her being Draco with boobs isn’t enough of a reason.
Everyone is shocked into silence when they see Zoey is right. Their circle is glowing chock full of mystical mysticism. She says that she doesn’t understand Nyx and that her ways are ineffable and the usual canards. She says that Nyx gives them a choice though and they all need to be in agreement in letting Aphrodite in. In a rare display of a character flaw, Zoey decides to tell Nyx to eat a bag of dicks and sends Aphrodite packing.
They grumble a bit but it’s clear that Aphrodite will get to put friend of the earth down on her resume next to failed psychic and leather pants enthusiast. Zoey reminds them that they don’t have to like her but Nyx wants her there so they have to work together. She tells them to look inside themselves and listen to their conscience which tells them all exactly what PCK wants them to hear.While they discuss whether or not to keep insulting Aphrodite, PCK takes a moment to tell us how much Aphrodite is enjoying the power of earth.
I looked over at Aphrodite. By her expression she was bored, but I could see that she kept taking big gulps of air, like she couldn’t get enough of smelling the meadow earth had manifested around her. Every once in a while I noticed that she trailed her fingers down around her as if she was letting them brush through tall, fragrant grasses. Clearly, she wasn’t as unmoved by what had just happened as she pretended to be.
I have a question, PCK. Why does the affinity for earth make people feel like they’re in a meadow? Why not climbing a mountain or digging in a mine? How about walking on a sand dune in the cool of dusk as the soft grit tickles your toes? Why not anything but a goddamned meadow? Meadows suck, especially if you have allergies.
They bicker more and then Zoey speaks and the power of the circle infuses her voice. Which, again, PCK fails to explain what that means. So I’m going to pretend it makes her sound like she’s talking into a microphone with a lot of feedback, making her sound more like a harpy than she usually does. Aphrodite decides to stay and everyone accepts it finally. Aphrodite says she’ll let them get back to their D&D or whatever they’re doing and Jack denies that they play D&D. I see, so Star Wars is acceptable geek but D&D is too far?
Anywho, they say there’s time to stop by the IHOP before the movie. It’s a good thing that diet doesn’t affect the fledglings in any way or that would be a bad idea. Also, where are they getting money to eat out? Zoey stays behind because she has to talk to Aphrodite first and will catch up. They banter for a bit about Erik then Zoey tells Aphrodite to cut to the chase so she can go meet her friends.
“You really mean just answer the question so that you can go meet the creature Stevie Rae’s turned into, don’t you?”
Dun dun dun! Wait, why is this a surprise? Aphrodite was working for Neferet, after all. Would Zoey really be surprised that she knows about the undeadlings? Then again, this is Zoey who can’t swear, lest she be soiled. Aphrodite says to follow her and take a walk, they do which gives Zoey a chance to whine for Aphrodite about her horrible parents.
They bitch about their parents and bond and Aphrodite finally talks about her visions, plural. One was seeing what Stevie turned into and it’s awful, apparently. PCK can’t think of a way to show us that it’s awful so we have to take the word of a character we’re not supposed to like. Then She tells Zoey about some other vision that showed vampires dying. Zoey asks if Stevie is the one killing them. No, Zoey, that would be awesome and PCK can’t allow something like that to distract from your pedo-romance with Loren.
Aphrodite also comments on what Stevie is wearing as if it’s relevant. Zoey says yeah, yeah, get to the point already as if even PCK is tired of rehashing the same tired crap. Aphrodite says that Stevie’s turned into the stereotypical vampire that humans fear. What is it with humans and not wanting to have their blood drained for a snack? Then Zoey tries to pretend she’s better than Aphrodite.
“Not all humans. You know, you really need to get over your completely crappy attitude about humans. You used to be one,” I said.
‘Hi pot!’ ‘Hello again, kettle! It’s been so long since last we’ve met.’ Aphrodite says she also used to be into Sean Williams Scott and he’s old news. She says that somehow, if Stevie is allowed to die for real then all the vampires deaths she saw would come true. Because Nyx is mad about a bunch of vampires dying they can’t let it happen. Then Zoey asks how she saw Stevie dying.
“Neferet killed her. She pulled Stevie Rae out into the direct sunlight and she burned up.”
Wait a moment PCK. First it’s ‘oh those old vampire legends are completely wrong’ and now they’re right? Oh, I see. It only applies to the ugly vampires who can’t be put on the front cover of magazines. Ugly is evil, beautiful is good. Also, beautiful people have cool powers because it just wouldn’t be fair without them.
Vivisector's Writ 