We rejoin Zoey in the vampire’s dining hall. Great, I can’t wait for PCK to tell us how special Zoey is for being invited. Oh, and their dining hall isn’t a cafeteria either. Zoey assures us it’s a very cool room, saying there are no “serve yourself buffets” or anything like that. Just a lot of crystal and china and cherry wood furniture and tasteful decorations. What makes it tasteful is beyond me so I’ll assume she was going for a pun and that the whole room is edible.
Oddly enough, I haven’t read word one about gas lamps anywhere in the book. I know that was something I griped about last time so I should have picked up on it sooner. But Robson’s abomination had a way of blanking my mind and only now did I realize I should be hearing about the soft glow of gas lamps adding a special ambiance. Either PCK took the hint from the first time around or she decided to stop imitating Anne Rice and focus on imitating Stephanie Myer.
Zoey gawks at the food they’re eating. It’s all basically the same as the students downstairs except for the red wine they have. Although Zoey mentions there’s no rare steaks or bloody meat or anything like that. And why not? Aren’t there any vampires who like a good steak now and then? And do they have to eat or can they live on blood alone? And if they can’t get drunk then why do they drink wine? That last one is probably to keep the dirty humans from having any. Neferet invites Zoey to take a seat out on the balcony as long as she doesn’t think it’s too cold.
“No, I don’t think so. I don’t feel the cold like I used to.” I smiled brightly at her, reminding myself severely that she’s an intuitive and she was probably “hearing” pieces of the stupid stuff cascading through my mind.
Wait, Neferet’s an “intuitive”? Is that your lame new term for psychic, PCK? If Neferet was intuitive, wouldn’t she have known the cold didn’t bother Zoey? They sit down and Neferet orders “Bun Cha Gio and a pitcher of the same red wine I had last night”. ‘Yeah, remember that stuff I got wasted on last night? Bring me more and I’ll see if I can repeat the feat.’ Oh, and the serving girl is obviously a vampire but looks very young.
So, PCK, she looks young eh? And how exactly can you tell an old vampire from a young one? Do they just age slower and still develop wrinkles and gray hair? Or is that the only way you could think to tell us that vampires use the newer ones as slaves?
More hilarity from PCK when Neferet says to bring them a glass of any brown pop they have for Zoey just as long as it isn’t diet. Then she admonishes Zoey, slightly, by telling her that the stuff is bad for her. Says the woman who drinks wine by the pitcher by herself. Then Neferet asks if Zoey is feeling better, which she is, and reveals the real reason she brought Zoey up here.
“When I heard about the missing human teenager I began to worry about you. This Chris Ford was a friend of yours, wasn’t he?”
And how the hell did you know that, Neferet? She probably figured that it had something to do with the protagonist when her TV flipped on and forced her to watch the news. Zoey says it doesn’t surprise her because Neferet’s super smart and intuitive and has that sixth sense that all vampires have. You know, that sixth sense that PCK’s never mentioned until before now. Also, they have laser eyes that can be used to obliterate ghosts and retractable claws.
Neferet knows Zoey has a feeling about Chris and Zoey says it’s silly. Neferet says that if Zoey honestly believed that she wouldn’t be worried. Why Zoey gives a damn about some guy she hardly knows is beyond me. Oh, no it’s not, it’s because the plot demands is. Then Neferet whines about how people who listen to their intuition, especially woman, were always persecuted. Zoey says people always assumed they were talking to the devil.
“Yes, exactly. They even attacked holy people, like their Joan of Arc. So you see that humans have learned to silence their instincts. Vampyres, on the other hand, have learned to listen and listen well to them. In the past, when humans attempted to hunt and destroy our kind, it was all that saved many of our foremothers and forefathers’ lives.”
Vampires are better than people. I get it, PCK, you don’t like being human because people are dicks. The problem here is that your vampires wouldn’t be any different. They’re picked by genetic lottery, not based on how nice and civil they are. Add that to their ever growing list of powers and you can’t tell me there haven’t been a few vampiric jackasses who used their strength to rule.
Neferet tells Zoey to relax and that even though they’re not revered like they used to be, the “burning times” won’t ever come again. You’re right, Neferet, it won’t be fire but explosions that I use to wipe your smug face off the map with. And I that doesn’t work, we’ll see if you can outrun a nuclear blast.
Then Neferet asks Zoey if she’s thought of a new direction to take the DDs. Zoey says yes and tries not to think about Loren. Then Neferet borrows a page from counselor Troy and says she senses some hesitation. Zoey says no but that she came by Neferet’s office earlier and she was busy talking to Aphrodite. Neferet says that explains why Zoey is so nervous.
Neferet says Aphrodite has been a problem and feels, somehow, partly responsible. Then she asks Zoey how much she heard and Zoey pretends it wasn’t a lot. So Neferet tells Zoey all about it, because a fellow student would never use privileged information to spread rumors about another. So she tells Zoey flat out that Aphrodite has lost her powers.
Zoey says that must be sad and Neferet says not to pity her because she is the antagonist. Neferet also says that Aphrodite might do or say disturbing things in order to get attention. And, though Neferet expects the fledglings to act better than human teens, if Aphrodite starts acting up Zeoy should feel free to report her.
Then Neferet asks about Zoey restructuring and is extremely impressed because everything Zoey does is perfect. I still say turning into a vampire robs you of your higher cognitive functions. That’s the only way that the DDs wouldn’t have had some kind of organization already. And why everyone is impressed when Zoey suggests that they be a council rather than a vampire pope? Then Neferet says something hilarious.
“So, what you want from me is to lead the faculty in voting on the two new Prefects, because I agree with you that you and your four friends have more than proven your worth and are already an excellent working Council.”
Right, because in the single month Zoey’s been there, her friends have done so much. You know, like telling Zoey she’s special and cooing whenever an idea plops out of her mouth. Neferet also says Erik is a good choice because he’s popular among the fledglings. And now it feels exactly like a high school where everything is a popularity contest. And of course Neferet is behind Zoey’s plan to bring in one of Aphrodite’s former friends.
Then Zoey says that she’d like to get the DDs into charity work as part of their new direction. Neferet says that’s stupid because people hate and abhor them and blah blah blah. Neferet says to think of the Greenwood Riots because comparing discrimination against vampires is exactly like early twentieth century racism. You know, what with how they don’t allow vampires out in public and they’re never shown on TV or movies and how there are laws segregating them from the rest of society.
Zoey says that maybe people don’t like them because they keep isolated. I say it’s because they live forever, are immune to disease and have more money that god plus a host of powers they don’t deserve. So Zoey thinks that by getting out and giving back to the community that she’ll help improve their image. Which is probably only the second almost good idea she’s ever had. Neferet asks Zoey what kind of charity and Zoey names the local cat shelter where PCK got her cat. Neferet can only laugh, probably for the same reason I do.
What could possibly make people find you more likable than by giving time to charity? How about giving to charity that helps people? I know a lot of people like cats and animals but the only people that will hear about their charity work are other charity people and hardcore animal lovers. Maybe they’ll get a small shout out on the local news but it’ll be little more than a blurb. Working with people directly would create a lot more goodwill among them. But I’m sure Zoey’s cat charity work will win her the key to the city.
But if they worked with people, they might, um, y’know, eat them. Being slightly vampirey and all that jazz. Hell, can we just drop Grimlock and company on them? There’d be explosions and robotic fire breathing dinosaurs.
Now how can we make stupid, weak, mortal humans like us? Omg, duh! Give charity to a cat shelter! Everyone loves cats!