Eldest Chapters 29 & 30

These chapters are ‘conviction’ and ‘repercussions’.

We start off with Roran propped up in bed glaring at Horst. Oh, Chris. You know how to start things off with a real bang. If someone brings him some soup in bed I think my heart will explode.

Remember how Roran was leading some villagers to get crushed by real soldiers? Apparently when he fell over the villagers forgot what they were doing. ‘Attack!’ ‘Wait, Roran fell over!’ ‘Oh god no! What do we do? I no longer no how to use my weapon!’ ‘Maybe you should stop yelling.’ ‘I can’t! Seeing Roran unconscious has made me forget how to do multiple things, including control the volume of my voice!’

A choked sob escaped past the iron lump in his throat. He was faced with a quandary that tore at his very essence: the only way to rescue Katrina would be to somehow pursue the Ra’zac and leave Palancar Valley, yet he could not abandon Carvahall to the soldiers. Nor could he forget Katrina.

Wait, when did Roran stuff a lump of iron into his throat? What essence is that quandary tearing at? Is it…Vital Essence? Those damned communist soldiers, trying to steal Roran’s essence! You know what you’ve got to do, Roran? You’ve got to blow them up. And for god’s sake, stay away from the womenfolk.

Chris has imposed a terrible choice on Roran. Does he go after the Ra’zac or fight off the soldiers? I mean, I suppose the villagers could fight off the soldiers while Roran goes after Katrina but that would be madness. I doubt the giant infants masquerading as adults would be able to change their diapers let alone fight without Roran holding their hands.

Roran cries, he walks around, he convinces himself that surely he can figure out what happened to Katrina. He realizes he can’t track them in the air. What, you don’t have your own biological vertical takeoff aircraft like Eragon?

Somehow Roran arrives at the conclusion that the Varden will know what to do. But where are the Varden? After all, they’re location is a secret as are they. Eragon hadn’t even heard of them so the very fact that Roran has must mean he’s a spy. Of course as it’s important to the story Roran has to know how to find the Varden. He’s heard ‘rumors’ from ‘trappers and traders’ that the kingdom of Surda is ‘secretly’ supporting the Varden.

How does Gabby not know this? Roran is a dumb farm boy living at the edge of nowhere in a place where traders are rare and inconsistent. A least one of these idiots has had to run their mouth in earshot of an Imperial in the last hundred years. The only thing I can come up with is that Gabby doesn’t believe it.

‘Sire, more rumors are coming in that Surda has aligned with the Varden.’ ‘Nonsense, I’ve spoken to the king of Surda and he says that he’s our ally.’ ‘Yes, but these reports are troubling. Shipments of weapons, food and spices leave the capital weekly. Funds are being siphoned from the royal coffers and made as gifts to imaginary nobles. They recruit lords to their banner under the promise that they will expand when you fall.’ ‘Look, Chet. I spoke to king Honest Bob about all that. I even showed him the reports.’ ‘It was a mistake to show our hand sire!’ ‘Are you implying he lied to me?’ ‘He would have certainly distorted the truth when confronted!’ ‘But he’s got to be honest, it’s in his name even. If he was a liar he’d be called Liar Bob or, at the very least, Not Quite So Honest Bob.’

Roran decides that if he can’t protect the town and hunt for Katrina he’ll just drag the town along. That’s not selfish at all. ‘Everyone abandon your homes and livelihood and let’s go traipsing about the land so I can hopefully find my fiancée. Wait, why is everyone picking up rocks?’ And Roran has a moment where he worries that he won’t regain use of his arm. It’s a freaking cut you wuss, not a spinal wound.

Roran yells at everyone to ‘COME!’ and gathers them in the center of the village to give them a dull speech. Let’s see, Gabby’s ‘iron taxes’ are unfair. And just how much are they or are they literally taxes on iron? Gabby’s servants are demons birthed in an ‘ancient pit’. Well at least it has history behind it, which is more than one could say of those McPits of evil you see springing up all over the place.

The best part is when Roran starts talking about how things should be. They should be getting fat while rivers of gold flow into town, He says that they should be reaping all of what they sow save for any extra that they make as a gift to the rightful king.

You know, Roran, if people only paid the taxes they wanted to, there’d be no government. That means no king and no army. And that’s fine if you’re working under the assumption that no one would ever form an army under promises of spoils and conquer the land.

Roran’s speech is, if nothing, retarded. It wouldn’t be bad if there were any truth to it. We haven’t seen any evidence of high taxes or that the Ra’zac are demon spawn. Hell, we’ve never even heard Gabby utter a discouraging word. It’d be like making a moving speech against Somis. Who’s Somis and what have they done? Exactly.

“Roran,” said Baldor in an odd voice, “you could have convinced an Urgal to become a farmer tonight.”

Very cute, Chris. Roran goes to sleep and we transition to the next morning without a wake up scene. Getting better Chris. Roran does, however, go downstairs and have some bread for breakfast. Is it toasted or not? Does he spread butter or jelly on it? Grape or strawberry? Is it whole wheat or bleached?

Horst says people have been going up into the mountains to talk it over with their families. Roran has, supposedly, backed them into a corner and given them no other choices. He also warns that he’d better come through with his promises(what promises?) or they’ll be mad.

The prospect was of no concern to Roran. If we make it to Surda, we will be greeted as heroes by the rebels. If we don’t, our deaths will fulfill all debts. When it was clear that the smith had finished, Roran asked, “Where is Elain?”

‘Gee, guarding the capital of Surda is really dull, isn’t it?’ ‘Wait, do you see that?’ ‘It looks like a village walking towards us carrying the bulk of their worldly goods.’ ‘Let us welcome them a throw a celebration for they are heroes worthy of adulation.’ ‘Tell me you’re not serious.’ ‘Oh hell no. Close the gates and put out the lights. We’ll pretend we’re not home.’

Roran has the healer look at his wound. Oh dear, it’s ugly and pus is leaking out. Roran whines to us about how damage to the body does damage to the psyche and vice versa. And then he goes on about how no matter what he’ll have a scar. Boo hoo. I would think a scar from a Ra’zac would be a badge of honor. How many people could say ‘I messed with a Ra’zac and all I got was this pansy scar’?

Roran goes around and everyone is just so moved by his leadership I want to scream. He’s done nothing besides kill a few guys and somehow the townsfolk worship the ground he walks on. I’m surprised these people weren’t taken over by a wandering magician when he began pulling coins out from behind their ears.