Eragon Chapter Thirty Eight

I love how Chris tried to surprise us with the revelation that Brom was a dragon rider. I know I was stunned in to silence. By the stupidity, especially Eragon’s.

I mean, what was Eragon thinking? That there’s just that much accurate folklore hiddn in stories? What about all the ones they tell about lightning(just making that up) and stuff? Don’t they too have some just so stories that aren’t accurate but get passed on because they’re neat?

‘Wow, everything in the dragon legends is true. This must mean all other legends are as well, ergo lightning really is the electric wrath of the blind god Chika. Also my socks disappear because gnomes love the smell of feet, my uncle died because a crazed child hit the abacus of life and cuts hurt because there are tiny spirits stabbing at the blood with their ephemeral needles.’

This chapter is called ‘diamond tomb’. No, Eragon. It’s Grant’s tomb and it already belongs to a dead guy. Some people might get a little angry if you pulled him out to put Brom in there.

Eragon Wakes: 23

A tear slid down his listless face and evaporated in the sunlight, leaving a salty crust on his skin. He closed his eyes and absorbed the warmth, emptying his mind. With a fingernail, he aimlessly scratched the sandstone. When he looked, he saw that he had written Why me?

Oh spare me the crocodile tears. In a couple of chapters you will hardly remember just who the hell Brom is anyway. Sure, you’ll scream out his name or something when killing the Ra’zac but that’s just for show. Deep inside, Eragon, you’re a just an emotionally stunted boy who can’t quite grasp that there’s a reason your mother and everyone else leaves you. It’s because you’re a bad person.

Murtagh comes back and we’re treated to dull conversation. ‘How are you.’ ‘Alright, a little nauseous but I’ll be fine.’ ‘Oh good. By the way, I already know all your backstory and all about Brom and how he stole the egg and was a great hero and blah!.’ ‘How do you know all that?’ ‘Oh, I looked back a few pages.’

Eragon tries to get into Murtaghs head. ‘I’m in your head, man!’ But fails because his mind is fortified. That’s right, Murtagh keeps pesky mind invaders out with the Block Head kit!

This kit is sold exclusively through Dragon Drop off and is not available at merchants. It comes complete with hacksaw, our patented brain removal scoop, our brain filler and skull glue. Act now and you can receive this instructional video absolutely free!

They have a lengthy conversation about Za’roc, where it came from and why Brom never told Eragon about it. Is this how the rest of the chapter is going to go, with them admiring each others equipment?

‘Oh, and is that Verdi ring mail?’ ‘It is, I got it on sale at Stronginthearm’s’ ‘I’m so jealous, I can’t wear ring mail. I just don’t have the figure for it.’ ‘Oh, but you look so good in plate mail. And I love those bracers.’

Eragon decides to live by the sword so he’ll carry Za’roc now. Also they’ll sell his horse but keep Brom’s. Yes, why ride the dragon exclusively when she’s much faster. Get back on the horse so the plot can plod along with you.

Murtagh decides to come along and Eragon doesn’t mind as he’s now down one member of the party and he could use someone to tank. He speaks to Saphira who reveals she knew Brom was a rider but didn’t tell him because Brom asked her not to.

That’s a good way to build trust, Saphira. Don’t share secrets with someone who’s life is bound to your own when a stranger asks you not to. Of course that barely covers up for the fact the author probably didn’t know Brom was a rider either until a couple chapters ago. Also, Brom shared other stuff with her that she won’t reveal until it’s absolutely necessary.

She decides to share just one of the many plot coupons Saphira has in her noggin. It’s a name of some guy in Gil’ead who can put them in touch with the Varden. That’s not that hard. Just fly over a town on Saphira and see what happens. If they cheer merrily at the sight of a blue dragon, they’re Varden. If they fire arrows at you, they’re loyal to the empire. Try it out over Helgrind right now. Jut let me set these anti-aircraft guns up first.

They all meet at Brom’s tomb and then Saphira touches it and turns it into diamond. That’s apparently one of a dragon’s powers, to turn sandstone into diamond. Now time won’t bother Brom. Just a supervillain looking to steal the world’s largest diamond.

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6 Responses to Eragon Chapter Thirty Eight

  1. maeverin says:

    that’s going to be one heck of an engagement ring Eragon can give to Mysterious Dream Girl. If he can get the drunk out of it.

  2. Say, vivisector, wanna guess what the next “plot twist” involving Brom will be? Hint: it’s sort of obvious.
    *Jeopardy music plays*

    • vivisector says:

      Let’s see. Eragon and Brom are related, probably not too distant being as he already had one uncle and the novel law of relative conservation states you can’t have doubles. Either grandfather or father is my guess.

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