Eragon Chapter Five

There is one thing I like about this book so far. The chapter lengths. See, with Otis, it was like she was trying to keep each chapter around the same length. That way the readers got the same thing every time. At least Chris only makes the chapters as long as they need to be. The last one was short while the one before was lengthier.

This one is called ‘awakening’. I must assume, therefore, that Eragon manages to rouse Mustakrakish from his long slumber beneath the lake. That or the dragon’s constant barking will force the neighbors to pound on the walls. ‘Shut that damn dragon up! I’ve got to go get killed by Orcs early damn it.’

Some information made it through the idiot’s queue in Eragon’s head it seems. He realizes now that the stone, wasn’t a stone. It turns out, of all things, that it was an egg. Gee, and it was egg shaped and everything.

Chris goes on at great length to describe the dragon. It’s a scaly blue with white claws and fangs. You know, Chris, dragons are fictional. You could give them orange teeth if you wanted. They don’t all need to have gone to the same place everyone in Hollywood gets their smile.

Eragon is paralyzed with fear by a critter no longer than his forearm. He thinks it could be a formidable opponent. Now we know why Rag isn’t all that great a hunter. ‘Ah, look over there. My dreaded arch nemesis.’ ‘Eragon, that’s a bunny.’ ‘You should have seen it shortly after it was born. It was a most worthy adversary. Ah, and here comes another.’ ‘The Johnson boy? He’s three!’ ‘Oh but on the day he was born he was quite formidable indeed. I needed all my cunning just to escape the delivery room alive.’

The dragon decides Eragon is about as much a threat as a bag of Cheetos and starts wandering around the room. It makes little squeaking noises whenever it bumps into stuff or finds a new smell. Then it jumps onto Eragon’s bed and lays down and gives him cute eyes so Rag pets it.

And he is immediately rewarded by a shock of cold. See Eragon, it was enchanted not to let you touch it. Now you know that it’s not meant for you. Now take it back into the woods and put it back where you found it. Its mother is probably looking for it.

Or Eragon and the Dragon are now linked via telepathy. He’s thicker than a bunker wall though and doesn’t notice, that or he’s too stupid to care. He goes and feeds it next, after which it curls up, purrs and goes to sleep. Well, just don’t name it kid or you’ll never get rid of it.

He faced a painful dilemma: By raising a dragon, he could become a Rider. Myths and stories about Riders were treasured, and being one would automatically place him among those legends. However, if the Empire discovered the dragon, he and his family would be put to death unless he joined the king. No one could—or would—help them. The simplest solution was just to kill the dragon, but the idea was repugnant, and he rejected it. Dragons were too revered for him to even consider that. Besides, what could betray us? he thought. We live in a remote area and have done nothing to draw attention.

Not even in possession of a dragon for five seconds and already Eragon is trying to ruin it. Gee, raise it and become a hero or snap its neck like a coward. Do you really need any more hints Rag? A dragon’s egg falls out of the sky and into you lap and hatches with no effort on your part. That’s about as close as a kick in the pants as you should get from the author telling you to get going and do it.

Eragon decides to hide it from uncle and cousin because you just can’t trust family with awesomeness. They’ll want to steal it, my dragon, my…preciousssssss. He builds it a nest outside and tells it to stay, using his mind link like he’s had it since the start. Then he goes back inside.

The next morning Roran says he heard noises but doesn’t ask about them. He, and uncle, have gotten used to the strange noises that come from Eragon’s room. Rag ducks out to take the dragon for a walk through the woods and he chatters at it incessantly. Enraged by the dip, it bites his ear off as a warning.

In a month it goes from just hatched to large enough to use trees as scratching posts. It’s a good thing no one has gotten suspicious about all noises coming from the woods and the fact Eragon won’t let anybody in.

‘Uh, uncle. Where are you going?’ ‘I’m going into the woods. I’ve got to get some firewood.’ ‘No! I mean, uh, why bother? I’ll get it for you. Stop being so suspicious and go back to the house.’ ‘Eragon, are you hiding something large and blue and shaped like a young dragon in the woods?’ ‘No! No, I’m, uh, masturbating. A lot.’ ‘Okay. I think I’m going to stay away now.’ ‘From the woods?’ ‘If you’re in them? Yes. Same goes for the house.’

Eragon decides to tell his cousin that he owns something way cooler than a Lamborghini. He goes with his cousin into town after telling the dragon to stay, stay! Don’t give me that look, I mean it. I said stay! Good dragon, have a cow.

<<Chapter Four

Chapter Six>>

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