Host Chapter Forty Six

You know what would be an awesome way to end this book? Have it turn out to be a hysterical episode, not in the old fashioned sense mind you, of Jackie Otis. She could be suffering from Delusional Parasitosis and under the impression that everyone else is to. So strong is this belief that she manufactures a story from whole cloth to explain why everyone else is in on it but that she’s special and overcome the creature’s control just a little.

HK is actually one of the member of a search and rescue team that tracked her out to the desert. All the other characters are figments of her imagination, made up to justify her living in a cave and eating lizards.

It’s be a beautiful mind screw that could almost, not quite but nearly, make up for the terrible story. It would be because Jackie Otis was dreaming of a banal fantasy world where she’s perfectly safe no matter what and people adore her. The last couple of pages could just be her, strapped to a gurney, beaten, bruised, malnourished and murmuring Ian’s name as they cart her back to the hospital. It all happened inside her head and it would be awesome because you’d never see it coming.

Alas, Otis probably can’t think in layers like that; you know, two. I have a feeling the Matrix gives her a headache. ‘So wait, are they in the Matrix now?’ ‘No, see how everything looks like they rolled in the dirt?’ ‘Oh, how about now?’ ‘Yes, see how they’re cleancut and well dressed? Remember they don’t have that outside?’ ‘Ow, my puzzler hurts. Those Wachowski brothers are hard to follow, what with all the scenery switching about. If I wrote something I wouldn’t do that.’ And that’s why Otis’s characters move around less than sculptures in the park.

This chapter is called ‘encircled’ which I’m assuming means Otis’s already been surrounded by a mob carrying pitchforks and torches. It’s a pity that her army of soulless ones broke them apart and broke them against the rocks like waves, else they would have prevented this book from ever happening.

Jamie is awake and suddenly he feels great thanks to alien drugs. Well good job Eve, I hope you’re happy now. Now Jamie’s going to turn into a ‘no pain’ junkie. Next thing you know he’ll be hosting aliens in trade for a couple of squares, just a couple of squares to help him get by man. Please don’t hold out on me, I just need a little ‘no pain’ to get me through the day. You’re not holding out on me, are you?

Doc cuts into Jamie’s leg and some blood and a little pus comes out. Eve puts on the ‘clean’ and the diseased flesh melts. Which is funny because if it works so well, why did Doc need to cut into him? Oh that’s right, Otis is going for dramatic like on ER or something. Sorry ol’ girl but you’re getting a zero point zero from me for a final score of zero point seven overall. No gold medal for you.

Wow, how amazing the alien meds are. It’s kind of odd how Otis can take something awesome in concept, like say instantly closing wounds, and somehow make it dull. I think that’s her superpower, to extract interest from any subject she puts pen to paper about. Maybe I can get her to write about a few celebrities and make them boring to the general populace. Hey Otis, start with the Kardashians(I don’t care if I spelled that wrong, by the way).

Well, now that Eve has done something it’s time to heap the praise upon her. Oh, how wonderful you are, how saintly, we’re not worthy, we’re not worthy. It might seem deserved if she didn’t get her hair tousled and sent off to bed with a plate of cookies for the most mundane things. It might mean a little more if the other characters didn’t constantly remind her how special and great she is every chance they get. Otherwise it’s just another day in the life.

“Of course she’ll go out again,” Jared said, his voice louder with surprise. “Ian, she was absolutely phenomenal. You’d have to see to really understand. I’m only just beginning to guess at all the possibilities—”

Otis, I’ll give you another tip, from one hack to another. Show, don’t tell. Use your words to describe actions and justify such opinions of them. Don’t just shove some superlatives into a peripheral or secondary character’s mouth like you’re the world’s worst ventriloquist. Otherwise the effect you’re going for is rather transparent and we, or at least I, are(am) insulted.

The boys fight over Eve a little more in case her ego wasn’t inflated enough. They throw a celebration party by cooking, gasp!, spaghetti. Wow, Otis truly knows how to mark an occasion. Maybe next time someone will bring a caffeinated beverage to pass around.

They get back to arguing about whether or not Eve will go on raids or not. Jared says yes and he’s right because, frankly, the bug owes it to them. Ian says no of course and asks if she wants to which she replies if she can help she will. Then he says this.

“See, Jeb? She never takes into account her own wants—her own happiness, her ownhealth, even. She’d do anything we asked her to, even if it got her killed. It’s not fair to ask her things the way we’d ask each other.We stop to think about ourselves. She doesn’t.”

Oh please saint alien, show us how it’s done you selfless thing. I like how Otis’s protagonists are supposed to be so selfless when in actuality they’re the complete opposite. Eve, for the only example I wish to provide here, is seeking approval from the humans. All that she does is for the admiration and attention from Jared, Ian, Jamie and even Jackie Otis.

And now she’s just one of the gang. Ian says he’ll go along to protect her from herself. Kyle says he’s going to protect her from everyone else and Jared says he’ll go to bring her back alive. Been watching a couple of reverse harem series have we Otis?

<<Chapter Forty Five

Chapter Forty Seven>>

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5 Responses to Host Chapter Forty Six

  1. maeverin says:

    surely Otis couldn’t have seen all the Matrix movies. her brain (or whichever organ poses as such) would have exploded during the Architect’s scene.
    Hell, i had to watch it 10 times.

  2. Allycat says:

    Hell, I still don’t even get those movies…well, the first one I got, the second….???…..
    I still don’t get this book….I know I’ve said it before, but nothing has happened….It’s like alien 90210

    • vivisector says:

      The sequels are real easy, the brohters learned they like money and so they made up some stuff to fit in between explosions and fights. Add a dash of existentialism and boom, Matrix II and III. As far as this book, even the prime time soaps had something happen, even if it was melodramatic.

  3. Pingback: Host Chapter Forty Six | rsshosting.co.cc

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