Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty

Could it be? No more than nine chapters to go? Why I guess it is and somehow I feel this will be longer.

There was so much to think about.

Stop lying Bella, liars go to hell. Of course, being in the Twilight universe is equivalent so I’ll call it a draw.

Bella wonders what the clue Alice left has to do with saving the DS and whether or not the other vamps will react like Irina. Now why must we assume that Irina told on Bella? Maybe one of the locals down in Brazil, like the cleaning lady, mentioned what she saw to one of the reVoltui’s eyes and ears. Perhaps it just took Aro and the rest time to choose a punishment for Bella. Should we kill her quick or dip her in acid?

Bella also wonders how she’s going to learn to fight within a month. Wait, holdup a minute. You have a month to prepare Bella? Might I suggest purchasing something like a few AT-4s or some Bouncing Betties and surrounding the house?

That also begs the question of how the Volts are getting to Forks? Are they being shipped in cardboard tubes via UPS? Maybe they’re coming freight and that’s why the delay. I only ask because I remember Alice and Bella getting there in less than a day.

How best to spend that time then? Learning vampiric martial arts? Practicing with a fifty caliber rifle? That would be silly. Bella and Ed get back to doing it like the world is about to end.

Afterwards Bella begs Ed to teach her how to fight. For once he doesn’t argue, much anyway. Then he tells us about the other X-pires. Jane of course has the YouTube comments while Alec, who I vaguely recall, can cut you off from your senses. Now that might be a treat once in awhile like say, while reading Twilight. Is Bella immune to that too do you think?

Ed agrees that Bella is probably immune to Alec. She thinks about killing him so the rest can fight the Volts fairly. She’s even thinking that she might then kill Jane before dying. Yes folks, Bella is considering sacrificing herself, again. Wasn’t this already used in the last book? I guess Otis supports recycling on all levels.

Ed says he’ll kill Demetri who’s supposed to be a tracker like James only the best because Aro only takes the best. Luckily they’ll get a chance to talk to Eleazar—oh look, another goofy name. Surprise—who used to be one of them. His plot power is to detect other powers and describe them. How very convenient because he’ll be able to tell us just how perfect Bella is. He left the Volts after he found his one true love, skeeball! Or a vampire named Carmen who he had to search for across the globe using some cryptic clues about history.

Holy Crap! DS talks! What’s the first real thing she says? Well first she asks what if no one likes her then she says it’s all her fault. I guess she’s been studying under her mom in self pity. Of course no one can let her feel bad for even a second so they pat her on the head and tell her to buck up.

The four Denali, it would be five with Irina I guess, show up. They spend some time making small talk before getting to the heart of the matter. Pun! They hear Jake’s heartbeat and then DS’s which they can’t quite identify.

‘What is that sound, is it a bird?’ Eleazar asked, turning his head about in search of the noise.

‘Well, funny story. True story. You remember those ‘legends’ about Dunpeals?’ Edward asked with a douchy smile.

‘Why yes, I studied many of them and wrote a number of treatises on the subject.’ Eleazar said, narrowing his eyes at us.

‘Yeah, neither did I until I knocked her up.’ Edward said, ignoring Eleazar. He gestured at me.

‘Really? This is wonderful Edward.’ Carmen gushed. Edward and I smiled broadly at her quick acceptance. ‘And I always thought you were so light in the loafers it was a wonder you didn’t float away.’

Becoming a vampire must mean your brain withers and dies. These ones don’t realize the DS is half and half without prompting. They let the DS touch them in turn and she puts her thoughts in their head which is all the evidence they need. It doesn’t occur to any of them that DS could be lying as you only see what she wants you to see.

The Denali are shocked that one of their own could turn the Culs in. They says that the laws are only there to stop untamable vamp kids from being made. DS says she loves all humans and even her wolf Jake. *Hurgar* Excuse me. I just gagged so hard I can taste my esophagus.

<<Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Thirty One>>

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6 Responses to Breaking Dawn Chapter Thirty

  1. maeverin says:

    of course, why wouldn’t a month old (or however old she is) be able to understand complex emotions. i’m sure her mother did the same at her age.

    *i’m not the DS your looking for*

  2. Vanessa says:

    Forgive me Vivisector, for I have sinned. I watched New Moon on Saturday with my friends. Before you judge me, we did watch the first half in Spanish with subtitles, mocked it the whole way through, and did have some booze in us so we weren’t able to make wise choices that night. Plus an underage boy that takes his shirt off every few minutes. How were we suppose to resist that?

  3. Allycat says:

    I’m waiting for the Rifftax to come out!

  4. Erin says:

    Priase the lord. Smeyer is not in the top 10 bestsellers for the first time in AGES… probably since these stories were released…..

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