Breaking Dawn Chapter Eleven

These are dragging, I know. But really these are some of the worst. I thought seeing things from Jacob’s point of view would spice up an otherwise dull story. There goes my optimism again.

Jake is fighting the urge to follow the plot. Helpless…to…resist…Otis. Must fight it! Argh! He can’t fight fate or the author’s outline. Jake takes a number from Bella and starts wondering who will die? Which one of them won’t make it? Oh my, I’m feeling faint. I believe I’m feeling a case of the vampors. Let me get a Bloody Mint Julip and restore my countenance.

Jake figures Jasper is going to be the biggest threat. No, not my badger, Jasper the vampire. Even Otis has to agree Jasper is hardcore awesome. A creature of impulses and death held in check just barely by Alice. At least she recognizes that much.

Well if Jake can’t fight Otis he’s going to fight our desire as fans. See, I think Sam represents the desires of those of us that want to see all the Cullens wiped out. Jake on the other hand, represents the desire of Otis to make the story happen her way. I’m rooting for Sam, as if you couldn’t guess.

The only way to keep the tension from going anywhere is if Jake takes control of the pack. Oh and he just does it. In the space of one line Jake becomes Alpha and embraces his ‘birthright’. That means he calls the shots now. Weren’t you all worried there that he was going to kill Bella and the baby? I was terrified. I mean, the idea that a book may feature infanticide along with conventional murder. Well, I shudder to think of it…not happening.

Ok so Jake doesn’t get control of the pack, just himself. Him and Sam bicker a bit. Man if there’s anything Twilight is good at it’s having men with superpowers snipe at each other. Nonstop squabbling like you haven’t seen since any reality show! Welcome to the Twilight universe!

Jake is off to warn the Cullens and guess what? He’s being followed! Yes Seth saw someone trying to get away and his instincts took over. He darted after Jake like a tennis ball. Also it turns out not all wolves are mentally linked, just packs. Being as Seth and Jake are broken off the other they’re on their own WPN or Wolf Private Network.

Ed reads Jake’s mind and Seth runs off to see if the other pack is coming. Ed says thanks and Jacob’s all ‘It’s cool, dawg. Or should I say bat? Either way it’s straight up nothing but a Wolf thang Ed the dead.’

No one thinks Bella’s going to survive. If only. Ed makes a deal with Jake that if Bella dies he’ll kill Ed. Again, we could only be so lucky. Hey Jake if you can’t do it I will. Just let me get my anti-material rifle and I’ll get to work on that right away.

Yeah, still nothing going on. Otis should have written a tumbleweed blowing in front of the Cullen home to symbolize the complete non-happening of these chapters. How about some crickets?

<<Chapter Ten

Chapter Twelve>>

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3 Responses to Breaking Dawn Chapter Eleven

  1. Erin says:

    Your doing so well. Keep your chin up. If I was there I’d make you all the mint julips you desired, although I’m sure by the end of the next chapter you’ll be onto some hard rum, I can do that too.

    I really don’t understand how these books made it to print. It’s worse knowing that this piece of filth is the fastest selling book EVER, and that when it was released 7 million people were reading it even prior to the sun coming up – thank you middnight release.

    Now onto something completely different. Did you know that a good author, John Ajvide Lindqvist, has just released awesome Swedish horror – ‘Handling the dead’ had just been translated into English.

  2. maeverin says:

    yes, thank you for doing these. i was worried i might have to actually read the books to find out what happens.

    i’ve been wondering, i remember Jake said he hadn’t imprinted on Bella, yet he still chases (or chased) after her…was he hoping to imprint on her later? is imprinting something that they control or just a spontaneous wave of happy rainbow emotions that say “this is my twue wuv!”
    if they control it, that makes the whole toddler/infant imprinting thing so much more EWEWEW!

    of course, that might have made for some accidentally good writing if Jake HAD imprinted on her and she denied him. way to dodge the silver bullet, Otis!

  3. Parker says:

    No, I’ve read the books (unfortunately) and it’s spontaneous.

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