Thanks for the positive comments folks. It’s good to see somebody is enjoying this besides myself. For more things that Otis has borrowed elements from, besides the Southern Vampire Mysteries, see this link. I only remembered it because an ex read it.
Because this is merely a continuation of the last chapter, this one doesn’t start off with dialogue. A familiar scene plays out after Jake confesses his love. Bella feels awkward and Jake gets melodramatic. Some of us are having flashbacks to our teen years, something we’d rather forget about. So thanks for that Otis.
Bella asks Jacob to ‘behave’ himself. I’m not sure what he did besides make Edward feel like crap(something he earns with every moment of his undead life) but okay. Jacob says no she has to take him as he is or not at all. Bella gets a reality check when Jacob calls her mean.
Here’s where if gets weird, Bella realizes that he’s right. Cue the record scratch. She wants Jacob but not as a lover and if she can’t let him go then she’s being greedy. I believe that’s called a breakthrough.
Of course Jake being a hopeless romantic says he won’t give up on her. He reminds her that Edward messed up and that she has choices. He says he’ll be there until her last heartbeat.
“I don’t want options,” I disagreed, trying to yank my chin free unsuccessfully. “And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone.”
His eyes narrowed. “All the more reason to fight, fight harder now, while I can,” he whispered.
That’s actually a little touching and it makes what’s about to happen so much worse. At this point Otis rams a stick up Jacob’s backside and manipulates him like a Punch doll. Jacob uncharacteristically forces a kiss on Bella. Being the ultimate Dishrag, Bella doesn’t fight. Allow me to quote.
Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, didn’t feel . . . just waited for him to stop.
That’s a Bella response alright. Boyfriend left you? Give up and wait for death. Bad guy captured your mom? Let him kill you. I hope she doesn’t open a self defense studio. ‘When someone tries to rob you, just let them. You probably deserve it.’
Bella asks if he’s done then she punches him and manages to hurt herself. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to lighten the mood or to reinforce the fact that Bella is incapable of doing anything. Jacob offers to take her home and she threatens him with Edward. Oh and she calls him a dog. Burn!
On the way home he says that it must be better than kissing a rock, which Bella denies. He also makes the point that he can open mouth kiss her because he’s not going to eat her. Bella just gets huffy and says ‘I don’t need passionate kissing, we’re just fine with boring pecks on the cheek and hand holding.’ the same way a freshly recovering alcoholic will say they don’t miss Long Island Ice Teas.
Jacob also points out that he doesn’t need her to change. He likes her the way she is. This is Jacob rebelling against the stick Otis broke off in him. Otis though continues her slow character assassination on Jacob and makes him sound like Edward.
Bella gets mad that he takes her to Charlie’s house. She calls Eddie’s house her home. She goes inside, Charlie is happy to see Jake and congratulates him on kissing Bella. This effectively makes Charlie the worst father ever. Jacob tells Charlie that she hit him for kissing her and he goes ‘Whoo hoo!’. I have to assume that he knows Edward is a vampire and is just happy that she touched something not dead.
Charlie reveals that he also is afraid of Edward’s temper. He nervously asks Jacob if he wants to takeoff. Jacob is aching for a fight. Place your bet folks odds are ten to one against Jacob, place them now and hold onto your vouchers. Those odds are because of Otis’s personal bias. The sound of the Volvopire can be heard outside. I’m now going to narrate this like a droll football announcer.
“Edward takes possession of the ball and moves her towards the car. Jacob steps out, gets Eddie’s attention. Let me remind you that at the moment Jacob has one dead vampire under his belt and Edward, thus far to our knowledge, has no dead wolves. Edward winds up, and here’s the threat. Jacob is unaffected. Oh wait, he’s got more. He says if Jacob ever returns Bella in less than perfect condition, yadda yadda. I think we’ve heard this all before.”
Then the men argue about who owns her. Bella doesn’t seem to mind that they’re discussing who deserves her more like a couple of geeks fighting over an autographed Kirk photo.
Now we’re back in the thick of the list style of storytelling. Bella got in the car. Bella talks to Emmett. Bella gets confused. Emmett and Jasper are taking bets on Bella slipping up. Remember folks they’re placing the bets but I’m the bookie. Of course those of us that read spoilers know Bella doesn’t go all blood crazy because she just couldn’t be more perfect. Argh!
Bella’s hand is broken but it’s a tiny unimportant fracture that won’t hinder her in any way. She wonders if there is some human experience she won’t want to give up. Cough vampire sex cough. Pardon me, I have allergic reactions to transparent foreshadowing.
Vivisector's Writ 
Heh. You’re getting better at this, you are. 🙂 Thanks for providing us with a fix while Rachel’s away.
I’ve never heard of anyone that BROKE their hands after hitting something, and I’d imagine Bella didn’t hit Jake that hard. If she’s THAT delicate, why hasn’t she seen a doctor for diagnosis? It could be osteogenesis imperfecta or some other potentially life-threatening conditions.
. . . Are we SURE that Smeyer went to school?
of course she went to school, she just believes that if she wants something to happen to a character for what ever reason it can happen and she doesn’t need to explain anything, no matter how stupid it is.
“This is Jacob rebelling against the stick Otis broke off in him.”
Edward’s Response to this ordeal: “Jacob, stop breaking my THINGS!”